Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Escort in Love in 220 Words or Less


You know that thing where people won't go see really horrible broad comedies in their own language but as soon as the same kind of movie's in a foreign language it's somehow elevated and it will play at an art-house for months and those same snobs will lap it up like it's dom and caviar when it's really just a turd in a brightly colored box? Yeah that's what Escort In Love is.

If it were remade here it would star Jennifer Lopez and Josh Duhamel and David Spade would play somebody's gassy gay best friend and there would be a lot of Mexicans going "Ay dios mio!" as they drive by on their taco trucks and somebody would end up naked in a public place in humiliating circumstances that would teach them the most important lesson of their lives and cake would be meant for slipping on and dogs would get reaction shots and old ladies would dirty dance with David Spade and all of us, the collective of humanity, would be one step closer to permanent oblivion.

This review was in no way affected by the fact that Raoul Bova was supposed to do a Q&A at the screening of this movie I went to and ended up being a no show. No way at all. (BASSSSTARRRD!!!)


Anonymous said...

The movie you describe sounds kind of awesome. Am I a terrible person? (Or was I just distracted by the idea of Raoul Bouva naked and humiliated in public?)

Anonymous said...

Jason, you're right: this film is horrible, even for an Italian who watched it in her mother language. And it's really sad and disappointing that these are the kind of Italian movies that get shown in such an important festival.
Ciao. Liana

Jason Adams said...

That's the thing, Liana - I don't get why they showed this movie for this festival! Although I'm not overly familiar with Italian cinema right now I'm sure you've got better to show off. It would be literally IMPOSSIBLE not to. ;) I suppose they could get the stars here for this one (although Raoul Bova, being a lying liar, didn't keep his word) and that was enough.