Shut Up, Paul Rudd!

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Everybody be saying crazy stupid things today! Listen to Paul Rudd's current jackassery:

"I've been naked in a lot of my movies. There's something inherently funny about the naked male body, particularly mine," he tells the October issue of Playboy (on stands September 16). "Ryan Reynolds, sure, it makes sense why he'd strip down. But not me. I shouldn't be allowed to."

"I'm a big fan of movie nudity," he explains. "A male ass shot is the cheapest and best laugh ever. But it's mortifying to do. When I showed my butt in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, all I could think was, 'This is going to be up on all those big screens.' I was very self-conscious about doing it."

"There's a scene in Our Idiot Brother where I'm naked and getting painted from the side, and because of the angle of the shot, our soundman -- who was a guest soundman, by the way, and not even our regular guy -- had an unfortunate view. He was holding up the boom mike and standing right in front of me. My legs were spread, and he was pretty much staring at my hairy taint."

"I felt so bad for him. I could tell by his expression that he was pretty bummed out. Afterward I was like, 'Sorry about that, man.' I don't think he forgave me."

Greatest job ever! Why's it always jerks who can't appreciate beautiful things that are gifted them? This world is unjust. And now he's gone and make Paul question whether he should do it anymore? Paul, don't listen to this jerk. Show me your "hairy taint" and I will lather it with the most effusive praise ever spoken, I swear it. I'll make it blush I'll be so sweet.