Thursday, February 17, 2011

Do Dump or Marry - The Lincoln Laddies


I'm so desperate for The Lincoln Lawyer to come out already so I can stop being forced to sit through its damn trailer every time I go to the movies. It makes me crazy! Not in a good way. With McConaughey winking every time the camera cuts to him and that moment when we're supposed to feel the screen-scorching intensity of the stare-down between him and Ryan Phillippe that comes off like being slapped in the face with a wet piece of cardboard and then William H. Macy's horrible swooping bouffant. Ugh! Awful. It makes me want to cut myself.

So if it looks so bad to me why the hell am I devoting a post to it, you ask? Well first off fuck you I can devote posts to whatever I want. How dare you try to rule me! I am a wild stallion (take note of that statement, Michael Fassbender), untamed. Anyway secondly on Monday I did a "Do Dump or Marry" post for Kellan Lutz and Joe Jonas and Zac Efron who were outfitted and posed together at a Calvin Klein show during Fashion Week and they all three are so much the same type, and it got me thinking that several times in the history of my DDM series I think it's been a choice between three similar types. And then I saw this trailer again and chuckled about how Matthew McConaughey, Ryan Phillippe, and Josh Lucas could all possibly be the exact same person, and yet here they are in a movie together. So it's perfect! Choose between the three blond dudes please and maybe confronting this movie so directly will make it go away.



Drew said...

Forget the rest of them I just want Ryan Phillippe thrice.

Joe Reid said...

The other two are kind of a toss-up, but MARRY Ryan Phillippe, for sure. Not only to lock that ass down for eternity but also so I can follow in the footsteps of my role model in life, Reese Witherspoon.

As for the tough choice: I love Josh Lucas. I do. But the fact that he hasn't been in a movie in forever plus the fact that balding, angry Ryan Gosling made me think of Josh Lucas in too many unflattering ways, I will have to DO the everloving crap outta Matthew McC and DUMP Josh.

Sandisan said...

I'm with Joe. I can take or leave Josh and Matthew. I'd rather not do Matthew, though, faboo body be damned. He's just soooo...smarmy looking.

Ryan, though...YES, PLZ.

Fernando Moss said...

DO Lucas, DUMP McCounaghey and MARRY Phillippe

Dave said...

I will also take Ryan bonded to me for life.

And since I kinda of hate Matthew McConagheghegay, my choice is easy. Josh looks like he'd be good for a quick one.

John said...

This is slim pickings. I'd rather have William H. Macy.

remy said...

do ryan
marry josh
dump matthew

Scott said...

Marry Ryan. Do Josh. Dump Matt McC (who now I can never think about without hearing Stewie Griffin insult him).

Ryan said...

DO ryan
MARRY josh!!!!!!
DUMP matthew

jessica said...

Do: Josh Lucas
Dump: Matthew McConaughey
Marry: Ryan Phillipe (by default)

Anonymous said...

Do: Lucas
Dump: McConaughey
Marry: Phillippe
Easy, breezy

Wayne B said...

If only there was some way to take McConaughey's ass and transplant it onto Lucas. But I'd still Do Josh, Dump Matthew and Marry Ryan.

maja said...

do- matthew (unwillingly, i say you)
dump- ryan (in a heartbeat)
marry- josh

Evan said...

Ryan reminds me of "Crash." Deal breaker: Dump.

I respect Lance Armstrong but don't want to hang out with him for the rest of my life. Do Matt.

Marry Josh.

Branden said...

I would do Matthew, dump Ryan and marry Josh.

The Pretentious Know it All said...

Do Ryan Phillippe. He's too pretty to dump, but too entangled in his love-child drama to marry.

Which means marry Josh Lucas because as hot as Matt McC is, I find him vaguely disgusting. And not "hot" disgusting.

David said...

Do Ryan. Once, i think, will be enough.
Marry Josh. That smile, those blue eyes, the furry chest. [swoon] Plus he sounds kinda gay, which is hot.
Dump Matthew. That tantalizing picture of him in those skin tight jean and overflowing bulge gave me pause...