Bam Alpert Goes Down Bam Locke Super Bitch

The last time we saw Locke (or Fake Smokey Locke, as it were) he was doing exactly what I'd be doing if I came upon Richard Alpert (Nestor Carbonell) - knocking him out and slinging him over my shoulder and carrying him off into the wilderness for my bidding.

Sexy bidding.

As a side-note, when talking about the season premiere I never gave proper acknowledgment to Alpert's snug trousers, did I? Shame on me. The costume designer who stitches those thing onto him deserves all the Emmys we can throw at them, I swear to god.

Anyway that was the last time we saw Locke, and tonight's episode is all about him. Or Fake Him. Or Sideways Him. (Jesus, this show.) If you feel the need for a Locke primer, head over to EW, where Doc Jensen has everything and I do mean everything you need to know. I thought I knew enough but then I read through Doc's summary and good lord I didn't remember half that junk. (Seriously, this show!)
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