my new plaid pants: March 2009

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Which Is Hotter?

Eric Bana
as a Man amongst Gods
or a freak amongst men?

"Can I confess something?"

"I tell you this as an artist, I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline."

Happy birthday, Christopher Walken!
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Drag This Poster To Heaven!

Wow that title is a stretch. I am sucking at post-titles today. Blah. Anyway, this poster for Sam Raimi's Drag Me To Hell is doing anything but sucking. (via)

I love how retro and how new it is at the same time. The demon hands sorta sexually violating Miss Lohman is very old-school exploitation-tinged, but it still all feels fresh at the same time. Plus anything that makes me remember that scene where Sigourney Weaver is sorta raped by her Barcalounger in Ghostbusters is good stuff.

It's the hand jutting up at her crotch that does it. Inappropriate! And then I remember that part where Dan Aykroyd has that dream about the sexy ghost giving him a blow-job...

Man that movie had some weird stuff in it that seems to get forgotten. Hmm. Anyway... what the hell was I talking about again? Ah yes, the Drag Me To Hell poster. Four stars! Good job.
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Happy Birthday, Ewan

Every time I start looking through pictures of Ewan McGregor I lose hours of my life. I'll suddenly look up from my computer and it's dark outside and my bones have turned to dust and I am being moved into an old folk's home by my great great grandchildren. Every time! Damn you, Ewan! Anyway, here are some pics of Ewan to celebrate his birthday (just like last year), his delightfully queer nature... his sweet ass. Love you, buddy!

Your Late Lunch Video Break

Stolen from Stereogum, here's a pair of videos of the lady with the giant voice Neko Case singing some songs live. First up, is "Don't Forget Me":

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And second we've got' "Middle Cyclone":

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Lord love that spectacular lady today.
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Player Hader

This post's title makes no sense. I just wanted to use it. My apologies. Anyway! CHUD reports that we have a little more info on that Apatow-produced Bill Hader-starring horror movie that we heard a smidge about ages and ages ago. Says CHUD:

"The current title of the film is House of Joel, and Hader would play Joel himself. In this case Joel isn't the slasher but the person possibly getting slashed (unless there's a crazy twist. And you never know...). The screenplay, a draft of which Hader just handed over to the good people at Apatow, is being co-written with Simon Rich, a writer at Saturday Night Live.

When I say current title it's because I've been told by Apatow Productions that they're still playing with it; a previous title was When A Stranger Calls A Dude, which I absolutely love, but Bill explained why it wouldn't work: the killer never calls Joel.

At Sundance Hader explained the basic premise: 'It is definitely about guys nowadays, that idea that you watch fucked up shit on TV, how violence in our culture - this sounds really hoity toity - you watch fucked up reality shows, I love true crime shows. The idea of that thing coming to your house, and what do you do? I would shit my pants. That's basically what the movie is about. What if that guy decided to come to your house? What would you and your dipshit friends do about it?'

House of Joel is set up at Universal, which is a long ways from Hader telling me at Sundance that he wasn't sure if the movie would ever get made. While there's no timeline for when production could begin should it get greenlit, Apatow Productions is serious about the movie."

Well now that I've officially commited myself to my crush on Hader, I can profess real enthusiasm here.

Whoo!!! <--- "real enthusiasm"

"That's Ren & Stimpy. They're way existential. "

Upgrade? Downgrade?

It's really a bit touched of me to even be judging such things so early in the game. Ack, tis the nature of the beast! Anyway, Amanda Seyfried's loss is Emily Browning's gain, says EW:

"Emily Browning (The Uninvited) will replace Amanda Seyfried in Zack Snyder's action fantasy Sucker Punch for Warner Bros. The Australian-born Browning is probably best known for her role as Violet in 2004's Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Seyfried had received the offer and was very interested in the starring role as an insane asylum inmate who loses herself in a fantasy world where she dreams about escaping with her fellow inmates. But she had to decline due to scheduling conflicts with the fourth season of Big Love. (HBO wouldn't release Seyfried from her shooting schedule.) Shooting on Sucker Punch is set for the fall. Evan Rachel Wood, Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish, and Emma Stone are all still in talks to costar."

I have nothing against Browning (I liked her in Lemony Snicket actually), but she doesn't exactly make my eyeballs spin with glee like Seyfried does. HBO bastards! I suppose Mandy can comfort herself with boyfriend Dominic Cooper's sweet ass, though.

Siiiiiiigh. Where was I? Ah right, Sucker Punch. Now the only name that really jazzes me up from that list is Emma Stone. I love you, Emma Stone.

Her nerd-shtick in House Bunny grows more endearing with each subsequent viewing. She's totally channeling this weird Franken-beast conglomerate of her Superbad co-stars, Michael Cera and Jonah Hill in that part. Adorkable!
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Tonight? Really?

Wow, my head's been up my ass with regards to ~~everything~~ this one, hasn't it? I had no idea that ABC's reboot of Cupid, led by Veronica Mars' Rob Thomas who created the original version too, was starting tonight. Shame on me!

But seriously, did anyone else know this? Have they, like, aired commercials or anything? not that I watch commercials anymore (thank you Tivo!). But still. Not a clue.

And according to AICN's round-up of reviews, it might be a bit of a disappointment right outta the gate. I love this quote from this review:

"[Cannavale] looks about as cupidly as Saddam Hussein."

Even though I like Bobby Cannavale, that's hysterical. Well I'll be watching anyway. The man made Veronica Mars. For the love of Veronica Mars, how could I not?
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But How Will He Look With The Long Hair?

I'm always glad to see Paul Bettany keep getting work. I like to look at him. And now he's going from being a baldy on that Charles Darwin movie to working some long flowing luxurious locks in a comic-book adaptation, apparently. Via THR:

Paul Bettany joins 'Priest' 'hood
Horror Western reunites actor with his 'Legion' director

Paul Bettany is in negotiations to star in "Priest," a horror Western that Michael De Luca and Stars Road Entertainment's Josh Donen are producing for Screen Gems. Mitchell Peck also will produce.

The move would reunite Bettany with director Scott Stewart, for whom he just finished starring in "Legion," an upcoming Screen Gems supernatural thriller.

An adaptation of a TokyoPop comic book, "Priest" is set in a world ravaged by centuries of war between man and vampire and follows a warrior priest (Bettany) who turns against the church to track down a murderous band of vampires who have kidnapped his niece. Cory Goodman ("The Brood") wrote the screenplay.

"I knew the moment I saw Stewart's first cut of 'Legion' that Bettany was Priest and so I mentioned it to him immediately," Screen Gems president Clint Culpepper said.

"Legion," which is set to open next January, is about a group of misfits and an archangel who try to prevent humanity from being wiped out by angels.

Bettany has of course played a cleric-type with a penchant for the twisted side... anyone who saw The Da Vinci Code should recall his self-flagellation scenes vividly...

Mmm self-flagellation has never been sexier.
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Twice The Naked Brawling

David Cronenberg is ready willing and able to continue on with his love affair with Viggo Mortensen for all the world to see. Apparently he wants his next project to be a sequel to 2007's Eastern Promises. Via DH:

"We [he and Viggo Mortensen] are moving forward with it. We all are excited about the idea of doing a sequel... We are going to have a meeting very soon between me, Steve Knight [writer] and Paul Webster [producer] to discuss what the script would be. I have some very strong ideas about what I would like to see, but I would like to hear what they have to say as well. And then after that, if all goes well, Steve goes away and writes a great script. If we all like it, we make it"

I thought Promises was alright. Thing is... I know admitting this drives Cronenberg crazy, but I really do miss his old sick self. His new semi-respectable sick self is leaving me wanting. Why not a sequel to Videodrome? What I'm saying is, I could use some more pulsating wounds, David. Hungry, pulsating wounds. Think about it.

Maybe he'll at least find the room to have Viggo and Vincent Cassel's characters consummate their relationship this time though...

I wouldn't so much mind that.

Good Morning, World

Mannie, who just spent the night cowering in the garbage outside of a rave, to Ronna, who just spent the night half-dead in a ditch:

"You look like shit."

As long as I'm bringing up people who seem to have disappeared, where the hell is Nathan Bexton? He's adorable. IMDb has him still working sporadically in things I know nothing of. Hmm.
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Monday, March 30, 2009

Tonight's Fanboy Delusion

Tonight I'd rather be...

... chatting up Ben Chaplin, for hours
and hours... and hours...

Abby: I have to tell you something.
Brian: What?
Abby: The other night on the phone... I'm pregnant.
Brian: Oh darling... are you sure it was me?
Abby: I don't know. I made a lot of phone calls that night.

Whatever happened to Ben Chaplin anyway? Or Janeane Garofalo for that matter? I think we need a sequel to The Truth About Cats & Dogs. Get these two charmers (and Uma, who hasn't had much luck outside of Tarantino-ville either) back in a place where they sparkle. Get me Hollywood on the phone! I've got another genius idea!!!
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