Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Do, Dump or Marry! The Stop-Loss Boys

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My apologies to Mamie and Abbie up there above, but you should be going before somebody drops a house on you or something. This one's for the fellas of your movie Stop-Loss all scattered around you... they being Ryan Phillippe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Channing Tatum, o' course.


This one's another pretty obvious selection for my Do, Dump Marry racket, but when something this splendid presents itself, I'd be an ignoramus not to take the bait (note to Channing, Joe, or Ryan: Feel free to present yourselves; I will take the bait).

Our choices, then!

Ryan Phillippe

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Channing Tatum

Who gets one torrid evening of your life; who gets all the rest of the nights and the days and the bad-breathy mornings of your life; and who gets only the time it takes for your boot to connect to their behind (and not in any sort of fun fetishy way)?

From my point of view, the only reasonable response here is "Forget legalizing Gay Marriage; bring on the legalized Gay Polygamy!" but if I had to choose - and I do, since these are the rules here, I can't go flouting my own rules or it'd be ANARCHY - JGL's an easy choice to my eyes for marriage - he's got so much more going on than just being adorable - so the only question is who'd be better in the sack? Urgh... this is rough. I suppose I'm about to utter the words I never thought could ever escape my lips... I would dump Channing Tatum. Ahh, make that sentence go away! It's a jinx upon my imaginary dalliances! Seriously though, I just don't think I could pass up this. No way, no how.
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19 comments:

Jwise said...

Geez, and here I thought Sophie had a tough choice. Ryan is hot (duh) but Channing can dance and you know what that means--so Do Channing, Dump Ryan and marry Joey....writing the words "dump Ryan" just ruined me for life.

Jillybean said...

Do female votes count? (Wow I just typo'd "count" and left out the "o". How's that for a Freudian slip?!)

Do: Ryan. His marriage streak hasn't been going too strong.
Dump: Joey. He looks weasel-ish. Something's just not sitting right.
Marry: Channing. If you can hook that man into sticking with you for life... gah, I just lost my breath typing that.

FDot said...

I'm surprised by your choices. I thought you would marry Ryan. That way, everytime you went to pick up the kids from Reese, you'd have a chance to see Jake.

Personally, I'd marry JGL, he just seems the most like marriage material to me. Right now, I'd dump Ryan and do Channing, but that's because I've seen Channing more recently in a film. After Stop-Loss, it might be different.

JA said...

Of course female votes count, jillybean! I only swatted away the female stars of Stop-Loss as choices for DDM; but everyone can voice their choices within. Even Mamie; but not Abbie, she's already made her decisions here.

fdot, it hadn't even occurred to me about Ryan being so close to Jake... I'd rend that family apart with my scheming!

Joe Reid said...

God damn you! This isn't fair. Okay...

Marrying JGL is the easy one. Yes. I do!

So it's down to Channing vs. Ryan, a choice made all the harder now that I've grown to actually...respect Ryan Phillippe as of late. I know. In the end, it's DO Channing and DUMP Ryan, mostly because I really don't need that awkwardness when Reese and I meet up for drinks.

Still, I stand by my DAMN YOU!

StinkyLulu said...

I'd be inclined to them all but, since you neglected to mention him, I'll sneak in and snag the 4th hunkahunka in Stop-Loss: Victor Rasuk.

So, Victor's MINE - ALL MINE!

(Though I would especially enjoy this sandwich.)

JA said...

I've never seen Victor in anything, Stinky; hence his not being mentioned. There are a couple other guys in the movie that I considered - Timothy Olyphant's in it fer chrissakes! - but decided to just go with the three leadish types I knew best. This is all my way of saying FINE, you can have Victor, but he better not charm me upon seeing him in something, or else... or else I don't know. I'll pout! I swear I will!

DL said...

I'm surprised everyone wants to marry JGL as much as I do. But yeah, that's the easy one. A night in the sack with Phillipe or Tatum? Almost impossible to choose, but I guess I'd go with Tatum. As pretty as Ryan is, Channing just kind of exudes sex don't you think? I'd go with him.

Anonymous said...

I agree with everything you said! That may be the first time ever! :)
bri

Heather said...

I'm dumping JGL, doing a three-way with Ryan and Tatum and marrying Timothy Olyphant. Hmm, happy place.

NATHANIEL R said...

i'm goin' with

do JGL
dump RP
marry THE CHANNING

i know it's crazy and the marriage would be rough and possibly stoopid. but i don't care. it's just a feeling I can't deny

NATHANIEL R said...

oh and ja

how many times must I beg people to see raising victor vargas. It's really special. DO IT.

JA said...

I know... it's been on my queue for ages... bad me. :(

I'll move it up to the top then.

Guilt works, people! It works!

heather - Your happy place is one of the happiest places I've ever heard of.

Kamikaze Camel said...

Do Ryan
Dump Channing
Marry Joseph

That was so freakin' easy. I hate Channing Tatum and don't even find him remotely good looking.

Peter Chan said...

Do- Channing Tatum, his voice bothers me but his body doesn't.
Dump- Ryan Phillippe, that cheating thing is a snag.
Marry- JGL, bumped into him once, that awkward, cute thing.

Rural Juror said...

I'm gonna have to dump Channing. Sorry, dude!

Anyway, I'm doing JGL. He'll speak to me in French, and it will be amazing. But he strikes me as kind of mysterious and a little too CLASS-E for his own good, ya know, so no marriage.

I'm marrying Ryan, because he was interviewed in USA Today yesterday and he talked about he loved staying hime with his kids in bed and I was all "AWWWWWWW . . ." It made me hate Reese witherspoon inside

sparky2379 said...

do- ryan phillipe. hard and often.

dump- channing tatum. he sort of reminds me of the town bicycle, if you know what i mean.

marry- joseph gordon-levitt. something about him just makes him seem like you could spend quality time together.

John T said...

Marry-JGL. He's the one who will still have a career a decade from now (job security!), and will still be quite fine.

Do-Channing Tatum-sweet lord, what a night that would be.

Dump-Philippe. Reese clearly might the right decision here.

zooplah said...

Definitely marry Joseph. He seems like the most marriage material.

Do Ryan, because he's hot.

Dump Channing. Because well... he doesn't seem to have anything going for him at all aside from thinking he's hot stuff.