Thursday, January 31, 2008

Thursday's Ways Not To Die


You just know the Grail Knight had been sitting on that zinger for a few centuries. He probably had arguments with himself over what he'd say when he got the opportunity. "Okay, what about 'That surely went down the wrong tube!'? No no no. What about, 'Your mother warned you to drink slowly!'... argh. Blasted fool! What are the kids saying these days anyway? I wish I had a newspaper or something. Is that a zit I feel coming in? Goddamit."

And yeah, this death, like most of Indiana Jones and His Greatest Hits the Last Crusade, kind of feels like a repeat of the whole face-melting-off schtick from the first film... but I still like it. I like that this movie was top-dollar at the time and it still resorted to the first couple of steps in aging this fella by cheap cuts in the editing room. And it's good old fashioned dummy work.

Previous Ways Not To Die: Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head


Agnes B said...

When you posted the Indiana Jones 4 photo, I couldn't help but reminisce about the female leads in the three films. Kate Capshaw sucked HC&B in the second movie, and Alison Doody (Elsa) from the third was a friggin' Nazi.

Not only is Karen Allen the most exciting, non-obnoxious, hottest, and all-around awesomest of the three women, but she's kind of the only choice.

Sorry about the tangent from your ways not to die...

Jason Adams said...

I actually liked Capshaw quite a bit and I enjoyed Doody's over-the-top villainy. But nobody comes close to Karen Allen, that's for sure. She was just SO right for the series. And for Indy. A perfect fit.