From an email Charlie Sheen sent to his soon-to-be (how long has their divorce been going on for, anyway?) ex-wife Denise "I throw laptops at old ladies' heads from second floor balconies" Richards, via Defamer:
"You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and, um, oh yeah, sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go [expletive] yourself, sad, jobless pig."
Only because I'm feeling insanely silly this afternoon is this striking me as the funniest thing ever written; I'll probably feel ashamed in reveling in other people's marital woes tomorrow. But for now, I shall drink in the hilarity of the inane chant "sad jobless pig." I'm going to yell that at random people on my way home tonight. Sad jobless pig! Shit weasel! Ahhh!!!!
Also, do you think maybe it was Charlie calling her "a sad, jobless pig" via email that caused Denise to throw her laptop out of the window so many months ago onto that old lady's head? I wonder. It's all coming together!
sounds like it was ghostwritten by donald trump.
I think it's the fact that this was an email and not a voicemail transcribed like I thought it was at first, that makes it so hysterical; that he felt the need to say "and, um, oh yeah" and then go on repeating the same exact thing he'd just said, like the fury with which he was typing these oh-so-brilliant slams was too much to hesitate, he had to get every word crossing his mind out onto the page, there was no barrier between what he's thinking and what is being typed.
And, um, oh yeah, indeed.
In his defense, he's right about the jobless part :)
Most importantly, this kind of lets Alec Baldwin off the hook. I mean, he only said "rude little pig" once, right?
Yeah, and that was to his daughter, and he has, well had, every right to call her that. Believe me, my dad has said A LOT worse to me. But then again, I'm an a-hole. Hm.
I still love it when he told her to "get cancer of your face and die" because, as horrible as that is, has anyone ever said that before in the history of the world. No!
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