Wednesday, October 17, 2007

An Embarrassing Admission

I've made it known in the past that, gore-loving devotions aside, I'm really a big softie and often find myself inclined towards the aggressively maudlin tearjerkers out there - I couldn't tell you how many times in my life I've watched the Bette Midler two-fer of Beaches and Stella and cried my damned fool's eyes out each and every single time. What can I say, I'm a mass of contradictions. I celebrate skewered eyeballs one second and the next I break down like a three-year old whose lost their binky the second Jenny-girl gets married while Bette stands outside the Tavern on the Green in the rain clutching her umbrella and giving that "I did right" smile.... "I just gotta see her face, ya gotta let me see her face!" Ugh! I'm welling up all over again.


Anyway, I watched Evening last night, and man the reviews were right - it's pretty damned bad. Vanessa Redgrave appears to be daring me to hate her, flitting around in her nightgown after a goddamned moth and babbling, and the editing... ugh, the editing is really the main culprit-o-awfulness here, seeming to likewise flit here and there from scene to scene with no coherent reason.

But there is a lot of good acting to be had - Claire Danes is lovely and Patrick Wilson is easy on the eyes and Toni Collette is Toni Collette and therefore incapable of anything but my love.

And the real stand-out is Hugh Dancy, who's simply wonderful; there's a scene between he and Danes, right after he's drunkenly kissed Patrick Wilson where he's put rightly but heart-breakingly into his place by her, and he's so incredibly good within it that the movie, for a brief moment, lifts far above its own messiness to something horribly sad and true.

Anyway, from that scene on, even though the film never really recaptures that strength of purpose - though Meryl Streep's scene is precise and terrific - I was an enormous ball of hysterical sobs. The movie ended, and I still could not stop crying; I lay there for about ten full minutes making this obscene braying sound. I finally had to will myself to stop, suddenly afraid the neighbors could hear it echoing through the walls and the police would be called or something.

It felt good, though; it's been a long time since a movie pawed at my tear-ducts so cruelly, and I'm, as I said, a sap who likes that sorta thing (and, thankfully, the boyfriend is outta town, or else I might be looking for a place to stay right now). It's really not too different from the vicarious thrill that being scared while watching a movie gives you - all we really want, when it comes down to it, is for a movie to grab us by the emotional balls and yank, right?

So there. I said it. I cried like a baby watching Evening. I am not a heartless violence-worshipping cretin. At least, I'm not just a heartless violence-worshipping cretin. Layers, see? I have layers.


Cherita said...

I've cried at bad movies before myself. In fact, I think I can outdo you on this one, because it wasn't even a drama.

Click. Yes, the one with Adam Sandler.

What can I say? The bit where he found out he'd fast-forwarded through his father's death got to me.

The last time I was left sobbing for a long time after a film, though, was Brokeback Mountain. And it still happens.

Anonymous said...

So then you're like an onion. Or like an ogre...

I can beat both of you: I cry at the Christmas Maxwell house commercial when the son comes home and surprises his family.

Cherita said...

Ogres have layers?

Is one made of marshmallow creme?

Joe Reid said...

There's nothing weirder than when you cry at a movie that doesn't deserve it. I...The Rose. Is all I'll say.

J.D. said...

God, how I cry at The Polar Express. I'm not saying it's a bad film by any means (oh shut up), but WOW do I blubber. It's so beautiful... [sniffles]

sparky2379 said...

i sat for ten minutes in the theater with my roommate sitting next to me blushing in embarrassment as i cried like a little girl at the end of 'pay it forward'. i mean shoulder-heaving sobs. go ahead and laugh, i know the movie didn't deserve it, but it pushed a lot of buttons for me.

Jason Adams said...

I love that we're all letting this out! It's like a group therapy session up in here! Tearjerkers Anonymous.

I cry at those damned Maxwell House commercials too. And then there's that one where the teacher has to go to the store to buy supplies for her students because the school budget won't cover what she needs and some kind soul helps her out and I might even be getting the specifics wrong it's been ages since I've seen it and I don't even remember what it was for but man, oh man, did that one get me. See how these things bring out the run-on-sentences in me?

I think the ogre comment was in ref. to Shrek, Cherita.

Ross said...

I cried all the way through The Fountain, and then cried again while watching it with commentary.

Glenn Dunks said...

Dude, I've cried watching Oprah more times than I care to mention. And not just because of the sudden realisation that "gosh, I'm watching OPRAH!" but because I am legitimately moved.

I cried at the end of Monster too, which I find oddly offputting.

Reynard said...

I may not be a good critic when it comes to movie because I'm the kind who likes a movie which gives us a little of something to take away after that. Meaningless movies that only serves to entertain is fine for me as long as it serves its purpose, which is to entertain. Bad movies, to me, are movies that are totally nonsensical and is pure stupidity.

For me, it's not really a bad movie because I think it's meaningful in a way that it's reflective. I agree that the plot may be messy and all over the place, but overall, it gives us a little something for to take for ourselves.