I remember seeing Apartment Zero on video years back and not knowing what to think of it. To my burgeoning teenage mind (and, most assuredly, libido), the film's homo-erotic "undertones" really seemed like undertones at the time, but watching it now there's barely any "sub" to this thing's sub-text at all; the relationship between Colin Firth and Hart Bochner is practically spitting sexual tension off the screen. Yet somehow, when I watched this movie before I'd come to terms with my own homo-nature, the queerness of their "friendship" seemed buried. Suggested. And totally effing hot. Firth is adorable and hysterical as the prissy cinema-loving queen who breaks into a sweaty twitch-fit every time his new roomie, played by Mr. Bochner, appears. And I think I too had my own sweaty twitch-fit watching Bochner, who's otherwise best known to me as the
damsel boy-in-distress in Supergirl. When we first meet Jack, Bochner's character, in Apartment Zero, we get this oh-so-subtle allusion to how Firth's character, Adrian, sees him:
And, if you think that lacks subtlety, you should see the scene where Bochner hypnotizes the apartment-building's
Making all the tenants swoon with glee:
Seriously, everyone in this film practically has an orgasm just by looking at him. And no, I certainly can't blame them.
Though for some reason, in the long stretch of the film which I above faithfully documented, they've got him quite un-sexily chomping on an apple. I guess that's what makes him dangerous? That he can make this face?
Whatever, he's still hot. And Colin Firth is genius in the below scene; he practically turns into a Tex Avery wolf cartoon, with the bulging eyes and wet brow:
That's some hilariously manic fidgeting on Firth's part. And this scene is great because the two of them have been just been arguing, and Bochner has finally figured out that all he needs to do to get Firth to shut up is slip out of his clothes and give him some dirty laundry to fondle. Works like a charm!