Jerri Takes Springfield!

Do y'all remember that scene in an episode of The Simpsons where Homer witnesses (or insitigates, I can't remember) an accident between a truck carrying fudge and a truck carrying bacon, and the fudge and the bacon mix on his windshield and he says "Mmmmm fudge bacon..."? I remember it because in all honesty I think fudge-bacon sounds delicious and I'm still waiting for the day the boyfriend creates this treat for me.

I have a point! Sorta. Whilst I wait for this heart-clogging confection to become a reality, this news from PR-Inside is the next best co-mingling I can imagine:

"Amy Sedaris, the New York Times best-selling author of the light-hearted approach to cooking, "I Like You: Entertaining Under the Influence," and a star of the recently released cult film "Strangers With Candy," announced today that she had reached the completion of the drafting of an agreement to present to Hollywood animation legend Matt Groening that would allow Jerri Blank and the beloved student body and faculty of "Strangers With Candy's" Flatpoint High to take up temporary residence in Springfield for the 500th episode of the Emmy Award winning animated series, "The Simpsons.

"I spent several days drafting this agreement, and I included in it numerous clauses and sub-clauses, with substantial agreements for remunerations and disbursements, and there are also some waivers, and some subwaivers, and also a disclosure or two, and there is one subdisclosure, as I recall, and an addendum or two, and then there is a line at the bottom for Matt to sign, right at the bottom, plenty of room there," said Sedaris, an Aries. "I had a book I used. So I'm looking forward to this, and there is any amount of mischief that Jerri Blank and her gang can cause by moving into Springfield, and here I think we might be talking about plotlines involving baby farms, crystal meth labs, a prostitution ring or two, a food poisoning epidemic caused by the sale of off-brand Girl Scout cookies made illegally in Manchuria... Fun stuff like that, because after 19 years of fandom and adoration, we pretty much know which way Matt Groening likes to roll with his plotlines."

Sedaris said she predicted Groening woud be "moist as a snack cake" after he reads her draft proposal. "And from there, the ball will be in his court, and we can only hope that he reaches for the lowest star possible -- which in this case is us."

"Strangers With Candy," which Sedaris co-wrote with Paul Dinello and Stephen Colbert, was based on Sedaris' impression of 1970s motivational speaker Florrie Fisher. Produced by Comedy Central, the series's main character, Jerri Blank (played by Sedaris), was a runaway returning to high school as a freshman at age 46 at the fictional Flatpoint High School, in the town of Flatpoint. According to the show's animated introduction, Jerri ran away from home and became "a boozer, a user, and a loser," after dropping out of high school as a teenager, supporting her drug habits through prostitution, stripping, and larceny. She has been to prison several times, the last time because she, in her words, "stole the TV."

"I view Jerri Blank as kind of an Anti-Lisa," said Sedaris. "She is basically the opposite of everything Lisa Simpson stands for, Lisa's every nightmare come to life. Although, I do think Marge's sisters might find some of Jerri's qualities to be quite appealing -- as might Homer himself. She could almost be Homer's long-lost sister, assuming anyone is willing to stoop that low, and I know that we here on this side definitely are, if not lower. But I guess we'll just have to wait and see what kind of brilliance Matt Groening and his team will bring to it.""

This is a weird article; I'm actually even wondering if it's some sort of hoax. I mean, why would Amy Sedaris just start rambling about some agreement she'd drafted that Groening hasn't even signed? And the 400th episode just aired this past Spring, meaning it's at least another four years until the 500th episode. Doesn't ring true, this story.

But it's a lovely thought, and if there is any truth to it then the world will be a better place. Like the exact spot where fudge ends and bacon begins. Heaven!
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