After doing one of these several months ago, I meant to make it a semi-regular feature, and then... nothing. I guess, if I define "semi" by "every four months" I can get away with my own logic. But anyway, here's the 2nd installment of "Do, Dump, or Marry" - in which I ask you, my loyal friends, to choose whom of the three people I offer up you'd exchange lifelong nuptials with, whom you'd just exchange bodily fluids with, and whom you'd exchange the business end of a pair of garden shears with. After going retro last time, I'm thinking contemporary today - our choices:
The (main) stars of one of the glut of Unnecessary Part 3's hitting screens this Summer, Oceans 13: George Clooney, Bradley Pitt, and Matt Damon. One loved a pig, one married a nobody, and one adopted a Benetton ad. Two 2-time Sexiest Men Alive. Two Oscar winners. Choose wisely! Here's something to help you out with your decision:
Or maybe that just confuses the whole thing? Hrm.
ETA sorry, meant to include my choices in this post - ten years ago this probably would've been a whole different ballgame, but now I do think I'd be dumping Clooney, doing Pitt (that one's a constant), and now marrying Damon. Matt Damon used to do nothing for me - too Howdy Doody! Too Hilary Swank in Boys Don't Cry! - but, after Ripley and The Departed, among others, he's really grown on me. Clooney, meanwhile... meh, he's alright, but a shadow of the Charm Factory I found him even two or three years ago.
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12 comments:
I would have married Brad sans children, or would do him if Angelina was to join in also. So I guess I'd do him on the sly if need be considering his life at the moment.
I'd probably get a few weekends kicks with Matt and then dump him.
And if I had too I'd marry George. Which basically marrying my Uncle John.
Christopher
Oh my God, we have the same choices! I thought I'd be all alone in dumping The Cloon. Brad's stock has falled but he's still worth a go at it. And Matt Damon has become deeply awesome.
Brad would have to annoy me a lot worse than he's managed so far for me not to want to hit this.
Also, "falled"? I get paid to write! What the hell?
Hee. I wasn't gonna say anything... ;-)
Do Clooney - he's not the marrying type,
Dump Matt - ew, gross,
Marry Brad - I could hit that dirty boy every single freaking day
do Damon. it's all about the guns
dump Clooney. he seems like the type that'd still be a hoot as an ex right?
marry Pitt. it's all about marrying Brad. If he loves you he becomes you. no really he does... (just check out his history) So you get to be with yourself (caution: this marriage is only truly satisfying if you're a narcissist)
Marry Matt
Do George
Dump Brad (too plastic and boring)
I might've once argued for marrying Brad, but despite his attempts ("I like architecture!") at seeming intelligent I still feel like having an actual conversation with him would be tortuous. After the glory of those abs wore off, I'd likely want to beat him to death.
Marry Matt.
Dump Brad.
Do George.
back in my day we called it "cliff, marry, fuck"
i would marry clooney.
i would throw pitt off a cliff.
i would fuck damon long and slow.
MATT DAMON LOOKS LIKE JULIA STILES IN DRAG!
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