Happy 31st Birthday, Reese Witherspoon! You don't need that fine fine ass of Ryan Phillippe's, you've got an Oscar and a generally lauded new haircut and figure and are working with Jake Gyllenhaal right now and... remind me why I don't hate your guts?
Right! This is why:
Right! This is why:
"Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often speak with you and ask for things, but now, I really must insist that you help me win the election tomorrow because I deserve it and Paul Metzler doesn't, as you well know. I realize that it was your divine hand that disqualified Tammy Metzler and now I'm asking that you go that one last mile and make sure to put me in office where I belong so that I may carry out your will on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.".
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