Something struck me when the trailer for the old new Mark Wahlberg movie Rock Star Invincible came on TV last evening. Some old familiar feeling...
Let's have a look at how IMDb describes Invincible's plot:
Now let's re-imagine this "Based On A True Story" story as something happening to, say, a metal-band enthusiast, just for fun:
I think you can see where I'm going with this. Hey, Marky Mark! We get it! You're just "a kid from the streets" with "a dream" of "making the big time".
But last time I checked, you're getting a little long in the tooth for these "idealistic street-children" roles. Maybe you wanna think about, I dunno, putting the Sharpie away and reading a new sort of script. Here's one for ya:
Oh wait. Right. Nevermind, carry on. Whatever brings in the benjamins, my man.
ETA I realized I did an entire post about Mark Wahlberg and didn't take a chance to exploit his past "modeling" career. My bad! Rectified!
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Let's have a look at how IMDb describes Invincible's plot:
"... this inspiring sports movie will star Mark Wahlberg as a Philadelphia Eagles fan who has just lost his wife and his teaching job. He decides one day to show up for an open tryout for his favorite NFL team, only to see his wildest dreams come true."
Now let's re-imagine this "Based On A True Story" story as something happening to, say, a metal-band enthusiast, just for fun:
"... this inspiringsportsRock n' Roll movie will star Mark Wahlberg as aPhiladelphia Eaglesheavy-metal band Steel Dragon fan who has just lost hiswife and his teachingjob fronting a Steel Dragon cover band. He decides one day to show up for an open tryout for his favoriteNFL teamband, only to see his wildest dreams come true."
Seriously, replace the leather pants with a jock-strap and these are the same fucking movie!!!
But it don't end there. Let's try it again -
But it don't end there. Let's try it again -
"... this inspiringsports Rock n' Rollbehind-the-scenes porn movie will star Mark Wahlberg as aPhiladelphia Eagles heavy-metal band Steel Dragonporn fan who has justlost his wife and his teaching job fronting a Steel Dragon cover bandran away from living with his parents. He decides one day to show up for an open tryout for his favoriteNFL team bandporn director, only to see his wildest dreams come true."
I think you can see where I'm going with this. Hey, Marky Mark! We get it! You're just "a kid from the streets" with "a dream" of "making the big time".
But last time I checked, you're getting a little long in the tooth for these "idealistic street-children" roles. Maybe you wanna think about, I dunno, putting the Sharpie away and reading a new sort of script. Here's one for ya:
"... this inspiring ape movie will star Mark Wahlberg as an astronaut who's gotten lost in space and decides one day to show the damned dirty apes that people matter, dang it, only to see, um, his wildest acid trips come true, or something."
Oh wait. Right. Nevermind, carry on. Whatever brings in the benjamins, my man.
ETA I realized I did an entire post about Mark Wahlberg and didn't take a chance to exploit his past "modeling" career. My bad! Rectified!
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1 comment:
I'm sorry you lost me at "replace the leather pants with a jock-strap"
...i sort've trailed off into fantasy land there.
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