Thursday, January 05, 2017

Five Frames From ?

.




What movie is this?
.

Good Morning, World

.
Last year for Bradley Cooper's birthday I posted a kiss between him and Daniel Brühl in this same movie - Burnt is the movie, fyi - but this year I'm gonna step it back to an earlier scene in the movie where we first get the feeling that Danny boy's liking what he's seeing as Coop flaunts his sweet stuff around in front of him.

Don't be shy, Danny! 
Bradley's not.

Cooper's turning 42 today and we wish him a good one - besides voicing that animated Racoon so effortlessly he's also got his version of A Star is Born with Lady Gaga supposedly happening, although to be honest I wouldn't totally fall over myself if that project collapsed - people have been trying for awhile to reboot that property and it's cursed every last one of 'em. Don't be distraught, Bradley. Daniel Brühl would still fuck you.

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

Read My Lips

.
What did she say?
.

When You Wanna Come

.
I saw a whole bunch of movies over the holidays so here's my first stab at spreading some typically abbreviated thoughts out about a couple of them - specifically the gay two, both of which I recommend you give some of your time over to.

Closet Monster - If I've said it once I have said it a million billion trillion times - every movie needs to have Isabella Rossellini voicing a hamster. And so Closet Monster definitely shoots ahead right out of the gate. But it's more than that - the movie really and truly bucked my expectations at nearly every turn. I went in expecting something more sinister (hell I was maybe a little disappointed it wasn't more sinister) but it makes up for that with its strange brew of sweetness mixed up with piping hot anger; it's got a real irrepressible particularity about it. We've seen gay coming-of-age movies like this before but never quite like this before - Closet Monster shuffles a couple steps off to the side, artfully so.

Will You Dance With Me? - Speaking of expectations rocked I went into this "lost film" of Derek Jarman's expecting little more than found footage from a dance club in 1987 (it was apparently shot as supplemental footage for another project) but I came out with tears staining my face and and my cheeks flushed with embarrassment over having ever low-balled my expectations of what Jarman could conjure. The set-up is exceedingly simple - it really is just Jarman wandering around a dance-club in 1987 observing the patrons. 

And that works in the film's favor (and then some) - this might be Jarman's least intellectually challenging film but it's got sweat and sex and charm and just sheer exhilaration to spare. You know the moment in Saint Laurent where Gaspard Ulliel & Louis Garrel scope each other out across the disco dance floor? (Of course you do.) This movie is that scene stretched out to seventy verite minutes but somehow every ounce as exuberant. And I never thought any movie could thieve Frankie Goes To Hollywood's song "Relax (Don't Do It)" from Brain De Palma's Body Double but whenever I hear that song it will be Phillip Williamson's hot-as-sin "pick me up" gaze that I will forever see staring back at me.



Great Moments in Movie Shelves #87

.
There's a great scene about 3/4s of the way into Alfred Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train where Guy's girlfriend (played by Ruth Roman) goes to talk to Bruno's mother about her son being, you know, a psychotic murderer - it's probably the only really good scene involving Ruth Roman's character actually, who's pretty forgettable as the standard bearer of heterosexuality inside a very queer film.

It's okay, Ruth - you never really stood a chance against the fiery chemistry between Farley Granger & Robert Walker. Not many would've. Anyway I never noticed until watching the film over the holidays that the scene takes place in the library! And Hitch hilariously shoots Bruno and his mother exiting the room in the exact same way.

What a pair of queens. I do want to give a shout-out to Marion Lorne (who's probably best known for playing Aunt Clara on Bewitched) who makes Mrs. Antony's cluelessness both very very funny and totally creepy all at the same time - there are a great many Great Mothers in the Hitchcock Canon and she's right up there.


Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Alien: Some kids... some little kids they wanna grow up to be president, some kids wanna grow up and be doctor y'know? I just wanted to be bad they kicked me outta school, I thought that was great! Shieet I don't have to go to yo school, that was the best thing in the world! Some people? They wanna do the right thing? I like doing the wrong thing! Everyone's always tellin' me "yo you gotta change..." I'm about stacking change ya'll! Stacking change! That's it. Money! I'm about making money. This a dream ya'll. This the American dream... that's it, I did it. Most my brothers and sisters... they dead. It was all bad. They got murdered. I'm the last one standing. I'm as bad as they is. Just in our blood ya'll and I love it. This is my dream. I made it come true. This is the fuckin American dream. 

A happy 43 to Harmony Korine today!


Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... sneaking into Solitary with Paul Newman.

Cool Hand Luke was on TCM last night and since I have been retreating into TCM every night instead of watching the news, which hurts my heart, I watched it for the dozenth time - not a sacrifice by any definition of the word sacrifice, believe you me. Anyway I couldn't believe that I'd never capped Paul Newman's butt before, so there's that. The internet needs that.


Five Frames From ?

.




What movie is this?
.

Good Morning, World

.
Before we had Jude Law to be sexily cruel and blondely indifferent to our advances there was Julian Sands... and there's still Julian Sands. He's turning 59 today and he still works plenty according to IMDb; he was apparently on Gotham recently? Playing the Scarecrow's poppa? Anyway I miss the days when he churned out steamy trash like 1991's Husbands and Lovers, seen here - not to mention when he skinny-dipped with Rupert Graves - those movies always saw fit to exploit him just as much as they did the ladies nuding it up, as you'll see in some NSFW gifs after the break...

Tuesday, January 03, 2017

Tom Hardy Two Times

.
What a fruit.


I'll Get You My Pretty

.
I probably won't get around to spouting off actual thoughts on all the things I saw over the break until at least tomorrow - I saw a lot, but my engine's not up to speed just yet. But all that will probably pale in comparison to Shirtless Oliver Jackson Cohen anyway...

I saw the trailer for NBC's new Wizard of Oz show called Emerald City before some movie and when OJC popped up I was all...

... SOLD. Here's the trailer:
.
.
It definitely looks as if its imagination is far outpacing its budget, but it also seems more interesting to me than that Once Upon a Time show ever has (save that show's astonishing cast of attractive menfolk). The fact that Emerald City is coming at us from Tarsem Singh, the director of Immortals and The Cell and so forth, well that's giving it some pedigree, and you can see it in the costumes - and the beefcake! - for sure.


Dominic Cooper's Long Necked Friend

.
.
I wanna surf that safari.
.

Pics of the Day

.
W Magazine's feting the Best Performances of 2016 with a great big gallery of pretty people who done good stuff, but it's their cover image of Viggo Mortensen & Adam Driver damned near canoodling that's got me singing some hallelujahs. I've got all kinds of Lord of the Rings meets Star Wars fan-fic duking it out in my brain right now, and that's a good place to be. For pictures of Alden Ehrenreich and a few more handsome fellas from the spread, hit the jump...


Five Frames From ?

.




What movie is this?
.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... ringing it in with Jake.

I considered breaking my holiday fast in order to post these wonderful, wonderful pictures when they came to my attention (thanks Mac) over the holiday weekend, but I'm glad I waited because Jake is still on vacation and new pictures have shown up since then. Wonderful, wonderful new ones at that...

Of course that means that this post is enormous. Hey, I edited. Instead of posting the approximately 400 pictures I gathered up I narrowed and winnowed them down to... oh, just about 100. 

Anyway I doubt any of you will complain about this post being too big. It's really the only appropriate action in the face of such bounty. And thanks to Jake for helping us start the New Year from such...

... a happy fuzzy spot. 
Hit the jump and dive right in...

Good Morning, World

.
Hi, everybody! We're back from our annual extended holiday break - I hope each and every one of you (well except that one person, they know who they are) had a good couple of weeks. I did... until two days ago when I slipped on some ice in Central Park, not even doing anything sinister I tell you, and hurt my back. Anyway I'm up and around but a little worse for that wear so we'll see how it goes. There's Gene Kelly making a stink-face in short-shorts for you; that picture somehow suits my mood right now. I re-watched Singin' in the Rain over the break to mourn Debbie Reynolds but of course I barely paid her any attention since there was Gene Kelly in tight pants. Sorry, Debs. You'd probably understand.
.