Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Safe (1995)

Carol: I'm sorry. I know 

it's not normal but I can't help it.

This week Criterion dropped their 4K of Todd Haynes' 1995 masterpiece Safe -- or do I type it as [safe], I am never sure -- and I plan on re-watching the movie for the gazillionth time via this upgrade this weekend; I find something new every single time I revisit it, as all the greatest films manage. Thinking about what it will look like in 4K though has me thinking about what an astonishingly good looking film it is -- I wonder why it's the only movie Haynes ever shot with DP Alex Nepomniaschy? They accomplished something so spectacular together! -- and so I looked up the movie's budget and they made Safe for one million dollars. One million dollars! I know we're thirty years removed but that's incredible -- I looked up what that works out to in 2026 dollars and it's only about two and a half million now; Safe could not be made for 2.5 million in 2026, that's for sure. 

That's an odd tangent for me to spin off on -- the point is they made a film for one million dollars in 1995 that will look better than 99% of the movies released in 2026, and even assuming one percent might beat Safe in beauty and visual extravagance seems an enormous caveat to make. How we're thirty years removed from this movie and Todd Haynes still remains underappreciated I cannot fathom -- Safe is as far as I'm concerned a Top 5 movie about America. It should be bouncing around at the top of Sight & Sound polls. The original poster for this movie that I own is one of my greatest possessions. Sing a song of Safe y'all! Oh and I really recommend you all go read Walter Chaw's fantastic piece on the film at Roger Ebert today -- when he finds the thoughline to The Birds I just about wept at the perfection of it. 

Everybody is incredible in this movie but it really is a Toni Collette Picture when it comes down to it

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— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) August 4, 2026 at 8:41 PM

And in related news -- Velvet Goldmine is currently streaming on the Criterion Channel so I re-watched it two nights ago and good god what a movie. That's another one that I find new things with every single view. So besides watching Safe this weekend I will be spending most of my time in a prayer circle, dragging a dagger down the middle of my palm, in hopes we can get that movie a 4K from Criterion soon. I'm basically just counting the days until De Noche, Haynes' gay movie with Pedro Pascal and Danny Ramirez will come out. Please please please be next year. In summation the following randomness made me laugh for a very long time this morning:

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