Wednesday, April 15, 2026

Jake Gyllenhaal Six Times


Aww how nice Jake has been announced as the "first global male ambassador" for Bulgari -- do you think he gets like a giant watch trophy for that? Or like the master key to every Bulgari store on Earth? Cut to Maggie opening her present at Christmas ten years from now: "Oh great another goddamned watch. Peter, we're going home." Or even worse (since they're a mixed family) -- they're celebrating Hanukkah and getting expensive watches every single night for eight straight nights! What a nightmare it must be to be a Gyllenhaal, truly. But let's side aside their domestic apocalypses for a moment and just bask in these handsome photos of Jake modeling said watches, the cause of his downfall, before the weight of this heavy crown has yet to wield its terrible consequences. Hit the jump for the rest...





2 comments:

shaun said...

In a shocking turn of events, he looks hot AF :)

Anonymous said...

Glad to confirm I'm still whipped for Jake.