I Want My Mummy!

It's totally inexplicable how much not a Mummy movie this Mummy movie is. Lee Cronin's The Mummy (and I do think that's the official title in full, which... well that probably would've been a better choice had you been sure you'd made a great Mummy movie first, Mr. Cronin) is in fact, besides a couple of scenes set in Egypt and a sarcophogus, an Evil Dead movie. It's basically a remake of Lee Cronin's Evil Dead Rise (his last directorial effort) in fact, when it comes down to it. It's Evil Dead Rise with a bunch of CG sand flying around over everything every so often -- basically when Cronin remembers this is supposed to be a Mummy movie he makes some sand show up. Otherwise this is about a family who gets possessed one by one by a blasphemous demon, making little kids do the darndest things (or dare I even day, the damndest thing, gasp!), while ancient indecipherable artifacts get translated via obselete technology, and everything's extremely gross and obscene. 

The last bit is the best bit -- it's what I liked about Evil Dead Rise, too. Cronin is definitely not afraid to be extremely gross and extremely obscene. But as with EDR (which brought the Deadites to the city only to then keep them entirely contained to one building for the entire run-time, making it feel like a retread of everything we'd seen before in the franchise) the plot and the characterizations in this movie make so little sense from scene to scene; it's really just "gross and obscene" strung together by the thinnest of (admittedly sticky) threads. I didn't really hate my time watching this movie, but it's in no way "good" nor should anyone be applauded for how lazy it all is. Cronin made a terrific Irish Folk Horror movie in 2019 with The Hole in the Ground, but he's just been coasting on puke and pus and kids saying fuck ever since. Bad Mummy!