My boyfriend and I have a running joke about how lesbian sex in the movies has long been reduced to two women holding their palms out flat toward the other's, hovering but not quite touching, which is to say that The Super Mario Galaxy Movie hinges on incestual lesbian sex saving the universe. So that's something! Indeed that's the best thing I can say about this clashing cacophony of noise which has me pitying all the poor parents out there -- get ready to paint eyes onto your eyelids so the kids don't catch onto your snooze, Moms and Pops. The movie does unlock its honest end-game though, in that it really made me want to dig out my dusty Wii to play Super Mario Galaxy again -- this is nothing but an assemblage of dopamine signifiers for Mario-heads, lapsed or still running, with nary a thought thunk outside that sphere. There is a scene where I really thought the movie might reenact Raiders' infamous opening of the ark scene, just with Bones Ghosts melting Princess Peach's face off, but that sadly didn't come to pass -- like everything here, opportunities super smashed.
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