The Universe Would Turn to a Mighty Stranger

I know a lot of people find Promising Young Woman writer-director Emerald Fennell's provocations hollow and obnoxious but, as anybody who was around here during Saltburn-mania 2023 knows well, I'm not one of those people. I find her movies and her provocations delightful -- people take it all way too seriously when it comes to her. She's just making black comedies about privileged assholes, but the fact that she comes from the world of privileged assholes keeps confusing people. Perfectly reasonable people get very precious all of a sudden. I don't get it. Saltburn is one of the funniest movies of the decade dammit. Anyway people are already for a dozen reasons up in arms about her adaptation of Wuthering Heights which stars Jacob Elordi...

... (as you can plainly see) opposite Margot Robbie, and judging by this teaser just dropped today she's turned it into a full-scale bodice-ripper with heaving cleavage and, well, even more heaving cleavage. And I cannot fucking wait! Bodice-rippings, swarthy stable-boys, technocolor heaving cleavage -- this thing is one Fabio short of a romance novel cover brought to life and I'm so very here for it. I mean I also love Andrea Arnold's extremely beautiful and restrained adaptation too -- why can't we have both?? Anyway watch:

This isn't out until Valentine's Day 2026 so we've got several months to wait, and probably listen to a bunch of people find something else to be annoyed about before they've seen it -- personally I just mostly want to know what the fuck is happening in this second-long shot from that teaser:

Like... what the fuck am I looking at? Do I even want to know? I do! Oh I do totally want to know! Anyway if you've got thoughts or feelings feel free to shate them with me in the commnets... i fo you can pull yourself away from these gifs anyway!