The Universe Would Turn to a Mighty Stranger

I know a lot of people find Promising Young Woman writer-director Emerald Fennell's provocations hollow and obnoxious but, as anybody who was around here during Saltburn-mania 2023 knows well, I'm not one of those people. I find her movies and her provocations delightful -- people take it all way too seriously when it comes to her. She's just making black comedies about privileged assholes, but the fact that she comes from the world of privileged assholes keeps confusing people. Perfectly reasonable people get very precious all of a sudden. I don't get it. Saltburn is one of the funniest movies of the decade dammit. Anyway people are already for a dozen reasons up in arms about her adaptation of Wuthering Heights which stars Jacob Elordi...

... (as you can plainly see) opposite Margot Robbie, and judging by this teaser just dropped today she's turned it into a full-scale bodice-ripper with heaving cleavage and, well, even more heaving cleavage. And I cannot fucking wait! Bodice-rippings, swarthy stable-boys, technocolor heaving cleavage -- this thing is one Fabio short of a romance novel cover brought to life and I'm so very here for it. I mean I also love Andrea Arnold's extremely beautiful and restrained adaptation too -- why can't we have both?? Anyway watch:

This isn't out until Valentine's Day 2026 so we've got several months to wait, and probably listen to a bunch of people find something else to be annoyed about before they've seen it -- personally I just mostly want to know what the fuck is happening in this second-long shot from that teaser:

Like... what the fuck am I looking at? Do I even want to know? I do! Oh I do totally want to know! Anyway if you've got thoughts or feelings feel free to shate them with me in the commnets... i fo you can pull yourself away from these gifs anyway!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Superman (1978)

Miss Teschmacher: It's too good to be true. 

He's 6' 4", has black hair, blue eyes, doesn't drink, 

doesn't smoke, and tells the truth.

Lex Luthor: Miss Teschmacher, some people can read 

War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple 

adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a

chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe.

Miss Teschmacher: Lex, what has chewing gum

got to do with the secrets of the universe?

A very happy birthday to the great Valerie Perrine today! It took all my energy not to use a quote of hers legendary performance in the Village People masterpiece Can't Stop the Music but I figured since a new Superman movie just got announced today this was fitting. 

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But speaking of Miss Teschmacher -- what did y'all think of Sara Sampaio's turn in the role in the James Gunn movie? I was worried for most of the film that the whole dimbulb "influencer" stereotype was too much, but I do think the movie flipped it on its head by the end and she was pretty funny. And I know there are a lot of people who'd lose their minds for some of some in-depth Skyler Gisondo reporting. Personally I like my journalism nerds in the form of Marc McClure's Jimmy Olsen... hey! That gives me an idea...

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Pics of the Day

We deserve some light in these dark days,
so if Paul Mescal and Josh O'Connor have to hold hands

while walking the The History of Sound

red carpet here in NYC last night then so be it dammit!

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Go Forth, Elsewhere, My Beloved Band

I in no way benefit from this post -- which is extremely annoying to me -- I'm just doing it out of the splendor of my incredbile goodness and heart. You're welcome. Yesterday there were increasing whispers about Radiohead announcing a new tour, and this morning they have -- sorta. It's several shows in Europe and the U.K. and you can see them in the new artwork above or you can see them here along with an extremely complicated process for securing said tickets. No U.S. shows and no current plans for them -- honestly I'd be shocked if they come to the U.S. at all while our current President is being such a bitch but I suppose we'll see. So if you live in one of those cities or if you're wealthy enough to travel -- and hey if you're that wealthy you're wealthy enough to pay for a plus one who lives in NYC right??? -- there's your info. What I care about and why I'm really doing this post is the new artwork that Radiohead's usual artist Stanley Donwood has created for the tour -- I'm a big enough Radiohead nerd that it must be documented. I had been thinking it might hint toward a new album, this new artwork, but Radiohead member Phil Selway's comments this morning on Instagram make me dial back my expectations on a new album being imminent; here's what Phil said:

"Last year, we got together to rehearse, just for the hell of it. After a seven year pause, it felt really good to play the songs again and reconnect with a musical identity that has become lodged deep inside all five of us. It also made us want to play some shows together, so we hope you can make it to one of the upcoming dates. For now, it will just be these ones but who knows where this will all lead."

Good Morning, World

... and a Happy Hump Day from model-turned-actor Harry Goodwins (via). We've done several posts on Harry since he co-starred in Guy Ritchie's series The Gentlemen opposite the similarly bulging Theo James, but if you're looking for one spectacular link I must recommend this one. Phew. And now hit the jump for two more of these new photos...

Austin Butler's Ab Emporium

Yet another gift from me to the Austin Butler appreciators out here -- a few more gifs from the video of that beefcake-centric Men's Health photoshoot I posted a couple of weeks ago. Because how else am I going to grab your attention and direct you to a four day old review for a movie that came out and did mediocre business at the box office? Yes in case you missed it over the holiday weekend you can read my thoughts on Darren Aronofsky's Caught Stealing over at Pajiba here -- it's a perfectly fine movie. Which means compared to Aronofsky's last abomination this feels like a revelation. Okay -- "revelation" is still an extremely strong word choice given the film, but hey's at least it's not The Whale -- thanks kee-rist for small miracles. And now that you've all finished clicking that link and reading my review you may hit the jump for a couple more gifs of them unholy abs of Austin's...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

I Love You to Death (1990)

Marlon: Is that legal... having sex with a kangaroo?

A very happy 61 to Keanu today! 

(Keanu is 61 wtf.)

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

I ❤️ LURKER

The queer-ish stalker thriller Lurker starring Archie Madekwe and Théodore Pellerin has been out in theaters for a couple of weeks now -- have you been able to see it yet? I dug it a whole bunch when I saw it at Sundance earlier this year -- if you missed my review you can read it right here. Who didn't miss my review? The PR people apparently,. because they went and used one of my quotes in an ad for the movie! We all know I'm a sucker for blurb-whoring so well here we are. This was actually from a couple of weeks ago but I missed it until today when my fellow Pajiba contributor Kayleigh alerted me to it -- their campaign has been clever, using modern technology prompts as advertising tools; here tis:

Good Morning, World

Happy Tuesday! Well I really opened the flood-gates (metaphorical and literal) when I first posted about out actor Rafael Silva a couple of weeks ago -- I guess he liked that tase of our attention because he's back and he's hotter and nakeder than ever in a new shoot for Men Style Brazil. Okay okay I know some of you pervs get pissy when anyone uses the word "naked" and nobody's literally "naked" but I used "nakeder" and that's technically a fact. He is closer to naked ...

... than he was before. Why are we here fighting semantics? This is some man... ya dicks? Sorry I was just trying to do word-play. I don't think you're dicks. Well some of you... you know what, nevermind. It's the first day back after a long holiday, let's just get to the beefcake. I was told the last time I posted about Rafael that's he's no longer on the show I knew him for thanks to my grandmother (9-1-1 or whatever, one of its spin-ffs) -- he's on some series called The Waterfront. Okay. "Water" is appropriate since as I said -- flood-gates burst. Hit the jump for eighteen more dripping moist photos...

Good Morning, Labor Day

No, I'm not here. It's a holiday. But I figured if Karl Glusman could go to all the trouble of lifting his tank top and sending us all this slutty selfie on his Instagram, I could go to the trouble this morning of sharing it and wishing y'all a happy holiday. So happy holiday! May your day be as sharp as the cut of Karl's abs. Let's meet back here tomorrow.