Flashin' the Stan

Yeah as threatened yesterday I'm abandoning you once again today -- off to another dentist appointment in an endless stream of dentist appointments. (If all goes well, knock on wooden teeth, I'll have one more appointment next week and that'll be that. Fingers and molars crossed.) I am leaving you with these two fine photos of Sebastian Stan from his recent cover story for Vanity Fair -- there are lots more photos from the shoot but I found the shoot kind of too boring to care to post in its entirety. He looks good obviously -- obviously! -- it's just nothing we haven't seen before. Real low energy handsomeness. Anybody planning on seeing Thunderbolts this weekend? (I am not typing that title's asterisk, I refuse.)  I've taken to watching the Marvel movies once they make it to streaming and this one ain't enough to change that habit -- Fantastic Four might be though! We'll see. Sorry, Seb! Actually I owe bigger apologies to Florence Pugh probably -- all the wrong people will probably blame this movie's lower box office on it having a girl in its lead. So apologies to Flo and apologies to all of womankind -- I have let you down once again.

Nicholas Hoult Thirteen Times

I have to be extremely quick pounding (ahem) out this post because I'm running out the door in a minute, but how could I not cram in (ahem) a new Nicholas Hoult photoshoot? This is for i-D magazine and there's also an interview at this link -- since I'm rushing I have not read it but I have taken a second to ogle all of these photos and that's gonna be enough to get me through what's promising to be an annoying day from here on out. Hit the jump for a full Nicky fix...

I Don't Know Where To Begin Again

About a month ago I shared the first track off of Sufjan Stevens' upcoming tenth anniversary edition of his masterpiece album Carrie & Lowell -- well there above is the second one, a demo for the album's opening track "Death With Dignity." You can pre-order the new physical version of the album over here -- they'll ship out at the end of May or thereabouts. In related news I hadn't checked Sufjan's Tumblr in awhile and if you're curious how his illness had been going he'd been updating it last year on there; there were several entries I'd missed. I hope he's doing better now but I can't lie -- I did appreciate all the leg shots from his hospital bed. He made the best of a bad situation! 

Pics of the Day

Deadline has the first images from Kelly Reichardt's Vietnam-era heist film The Mastermind today -- it stars our big-eared boy savior Josh O'Connor as you can see,  alongside Alana Haim, John Magaro, Hope Davis, Bill Camp, Gaby Hoffmann, Amanda Plummer, and Cole Doman, among others. That feels like a big sweeping cast for Reichardt but then she's never done a heist movie before -- having seen her make an eco-terrorist thriller though I'm sure this movie will remain in the key of Reichardt. Thankfully! Anyway we'll hear more about it soon enough when the assholes at Cannes get to see it first. Assholes.

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Good Morning, Louis Garrel

Happy Hump Day! I stumbled on this photo of our Louis yesterday during my day off and I've spent every second since... recovering. Yeah, that's the word. Recovering. (click to embiggen)

Say it With MacKay

Hey look it's two more photos of George MacKay in that mesh shirt everybody's wearing! May the mesh never rest. Aaaaanyway to get to the point (and prepare your bodies for a real exciting story of intrigue) -- there was a water main break outside my office yesterday and my office building hasn't had water for two days. So we're working from home today, i.e. I wouldn't expect much from me here on the site because if I'm not being forced to be strapped to my desk per usual I've got a million other things I could be getting done at home. So this'll probably be it for today. And looking at the calendar I've got another dentist (sigh) appointment tomorrow afternoon, and so tomorrow will probably be a half day as well. I have failed you all! When you tar and feather me just be kind. That's all I ask.

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Good Morning, World

I'll happily take a wee sliver of Jacob Elordi's bum to start off my Tuesday morning! It makes for a nice companion bum to Will Poulter's from yesterday, right? The On Swift Horses cast keeps coming through. This isn't from OSH though -- has anybody watched the Prime series The Narrow Road to the Deep North that these gifs were actually taken from? The series is on my list but I haven't heard anything good bad or either way about it, so if you've got an opinion I welcome it in the comments. That said let's take two deep breaths and see if we can get this day a'rolling...

Pic of the Day

A new photo from Guillermo Del Toro's Frankenstein (via) dropped today that showcases Oscar Isaac as the not-so-good doctor -- specifically his suspenders, heaving cleavage, and muttonchops, all of which I look forward to muchly. The movie, which also stars Jacob Elordi (as the monster!) and Mia Goth is out in November, presumably Thanksgiving just because this very much feels like a Thanksgiving release. Possibly critically important but definitely pulpy enough for the whole fam! But I hope Del Toro pervs it out the way any Frankenstein should be perved out, we know he's capable of it (hello to his fish-fucking Best Picture winner). But reading how GDT is making this story about Fatherhood (and how he just lost his father) instead of it being about a man sneaking down to the basement every night to build himself his very own man (one that looks like Jacob Elordi no less) while ignoring his fiancee upstairs, well I worry the Whale-esque (and Rocky Horror) perviness might get waylaid. Do by this queer monster story right, Guillermo!

Dev Against the Knights

I liked Dev Patel's directorial debut Monkey Man a lot so I think it's worth mentioning he's working on his next movie -- THR hat the deets and... it sounds awfully similar to that earlier movie? It's called The Peasant and it's another "underestimated dude gets violent revenge on the people who underestimated him" flick. Only this time it's set in the 1300s and he'll be duking it out with knights. I doubt it'll be as weird-sexy as the last time Dev was around knights where he made out with Joel Edgerton and spooged on himself but then that's a big ask! But then again Dev made himself look sexy as hell in Monkey Man so maybe we shouldn't doubt him. 

Garrett Wareing Two Times

After breaking our Garrett Wareing cherry last week with a great big gratuitous post for the Ransom Canyon actor we were very happy he shared a couple of new gratuitous snaps on his Insta over the weekend. We wouldn't want to go too long without some fresh flesh from him to ogle. Yeehaw!

Horses Be Swifting

I so rarely post on the weekend that some of you might've missed this down below and that'd be a shame -- my review of the "Jacob Elordi and Diego Calva go gay for each other" flick On Swift Horses dropped over at Pajiba yesterday, read it here. And here is the trailer if you missed that. The movie is okay but I do have some issues with it, unfortunately -- I wouldn't say it's not worth seeing, but that might just be Will Poulter's perfect ass making me say that. It's holding a gun to my head! (I wish.) And did I actually write this entire post just so I could post the below gif of said perfect ass today? Hmm we'll never know, I guess!

Who Wore It Best?

I really didn't expect to still be bringing up Warfare two weeks after its theatrical release (especially since I saw Sinners this weekend and holy shit what a movie!) but A24 dropped a new batch of Warfare set photos of the Warfare boys on their Instagram yesterday and I saw the photos right before going to bed last night, which led to me having a truly terrible nightmare:

I've been being woken up an hour or so early every other day lately due to terrible anxiety dreams, but last night's was by far the worst -- Charles Melton and I were trying to find somewhere to have sex but we kept getting interuppted! Why is my subconscious so fucking hateful???

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— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) April 28, 2025 at 11:20 AM

How cruel is that? My brain hates my guts. And I can't say it's wrong to. Anyway since I'm thinking about it now, pained as it is, I figure that photo up top demands a poll:

online polls

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Good Morning, World

A happy 58th birthday to Danish actor and one-time Dracula Claes Bang today -- these gifs (via) are from a 2003 sex comedy called Rule No. 1 meaning he was a wee 36 here -- I almost called him "twinky" until I did the math. But compared to how we're used to seeing him post-The-Square as a grown adult man, he does seem like a wee babe here right? It's always funny when somebody becomes famous later in life after a full life of work to go back and discover this sort of thing. Anybody in the know have any recs from before The Square, Claes-wise?

Diego Calva Gives Good Attitude

As mentioned on Friday morning in our Jacob Elordi post and Friday afternoon in our Will Poulter post the queer melodrama On Swift Horses is in theaters this weekend and I have reviewed the movie -- click on over to Pajiba and read my (mixed) thoughts! Less mixed are my thoughts on this sexy ass photoshoot of Elordi's co-star Diego Calva for Attitutde magazine, though -- these are getting the job done just the way I want the job done to me. Hit the jump if you'd like to see them all... 

Eyes Up Here!

I'm sure several of you brainiacs have long been familiar with the 1956 Japanese science-fiction film Warning From Space but I only found out about it this week and watched it on Prime last night and here we are, interupting our regularly scheduled beefcake parade to recommend this wild and wackadoo piece of vintage WTF-ery. The copy that's on Prime is good, a perfectly fine way to first experience the film, but I have to wager the blu-ray that Arrow put out in 2020 is probably even better and you can buy that right here if you're a maniac like me (which yes translates to "I bought this blu ray halfway through watching it on streaming because it was rocking me so hard.") Anyway -- just what the hell is this movie? 

Glad you asked. It's about a race of starfish aliens with one big eye in their centers who beam down to Earth, immediately realize they're hideously ugly and so they then morph into a cabaret singer (I mean obviously) so they can deliver their message of imminent doom to humanity. From there it all gets a little bit Melancholia, a little bit Threads, and yes I am indeed naming some of the darkest movies you can imagine because it really gets that dark at times. But I'd also include Tin Burton's Mars Attacks! to the mix -- hell even David Lynch seems like he might've been influenced by this movie. It's super weird while also absolutely gorgeous to look at in that midcentury sci-fi kinda way.  Point being I'm 100% obsessed with it now and I am here recommending y'all take the trip yourselves if you haven't already. And if you have tell me you're obsessed too in the comments so we can bond over it please!  

Cannot believe WARNING FROM SPACE only entered my life today - I am going to have to spend every day for the rest of my life making up for its absence

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— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) April 24, 2025 at 9:50 PM

Will Poulter Four Times

I guess today is all about the On Swift Horses boys! And why shouldn't it be? This morning we gave Jacob Elordi's bulge a spin and later on (ooh a preview of coming... attractions!) we'll have some Diego Calva to share. But right this minute let us toss ourselves onto Will Poulter's lap and give it a shake and a shimmy. Will was photographed for Interview Magazine, where he's interviewed by his Warfare co-star Kit Connor -- unfortunately the two of them don't discuss Kit grabbing Will's ass for all of us to enjoy; neither do they mention the shot of Will's incredible ass that's in On Swift Horses and which is one of the movie's greatest highlights. (Burned onto my brain, it is.) But then I don't mention Will's ass in my forthcoming Pajiba review of the movie either because hey -- we're professionals here! Except for here here, as in on MNPP, where I'll let my ass-ogling freak-flag fly freely. Thank goodness for safe (ass) spaces y'all. Hit the jump for the rest o' Will...

 

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