Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Mother (1996)

Carl: Maybe you shouldn't get married anymore.

John: I want kids.

Carl: Well, adopt.

John: I want to pass down my seed.

Carl: Masturbate in the garden.

Very happy that Albert Brooks' Mother has hit the Criterion Collection today -- I've loved this very funny movie since the day it came out, but it's been quite awhile since I've watched it so this gives me an easy opportunity to finally revisit it. And in 4K no less! I don't know why we need to see the protective ice over Debbie Reynolds' ice cream in 4K really, but I won't argue with it. Oh and also out on 4K today is Brooks' film Real Life, which I have never seen before! Big day the sweaty nebbish. (Oh and PS Criterion is having a sale right now -- 30% off all of their 4K discs. And it includes pre-orders so you can grab their mindblowing September line-up of the Araki box-set or All of Us Strangers or Todd Solondz's Happiness with that deduction!)