Friday, February 17, 2023

Blood & Honey & Mustaches Oh My

I have become less and less inclined towards writing pans of movies that were made for ten dollars over the years, as I've become more mature (well slightly anyway) and more empathetic with the difficulties of getting movies made -- especially in a world where Disney has all but gulped down the entire movie theater marketplace. But sometimes a movie comes along that's so lazily conceived and dumbly mean-spirited that empathy snuffs itself right out under the weight of ugliness, which brings me to my thoughts over at Mashable today on the new slasher flick taking a dump on our childhoods called Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey. Y'all know that I, eternal servant to John Waters, love me some bad taste, so that wasn't my issue -- this movie is just not funny, and I don't know how you make this movie and make it not funny. Worse it feels plucked out of the Aughts with its rampant Bro-Horror-Era misogyny -- that was when I knew it was okay to freely shit on this movie.

Thankfully this weekend there's a far far far better movie out on VOD that you can watch, starting today -- The Integrity of Joseph Chambers reunites director Robert Machoian with actor Clayne Crawford a couple of years after their previous film The Killing of Two Lovers (which is also terrific, by the way) and I very much recommend this one, which I called in my review at Pajiba, "a simple and gripping morality tale... feels like an immediate classic." (God I was really aiming for a poster quote there wasn't I? Well I didn't get it!) This movie is available at all the places where you V-your-ODs like here at this link at Amazon. And I shared the trailer for this a couple of months ago, watch that here

Oh and PS the found-footage flick The Outwaters is also streaming as of today, over at Screambox. Here is my review of that. I had some issues but if you like the found-footage sub-genre it's worth seeing -- it really does some interesting atypical things with the genre. I just... I'm an easy mark for being scared by found-footage and The Outwaters never really scared me. I know lots of people it did scare so maybe it will scare you. I just got a little too lost in the logic of its un-logic. And I watched it twice and my original questions only got question-ier. But I go into all of that in that review so check that. 

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