Some might say that quantifying Tilda Swinton by "human years" would be like measuring stardust in a beaker, and those people would be right. But lest we go mad from trying to comprehend something beyond our mortal minds we have selected today as the day this beam of light and electricity was beamed down from outer space, as of the year 1960. And then further we have given her ("her," ha, such a small designation) the title (by those who cannot pronounce her true name thanks to the limitations of the human tongue) of "Tilda Swinton." In comparison to the mad reality, the infinity poured into that flesh vessel, this all seems small, but in return Tilda Swinton makes smallness seem without bound. And so a happy "58" to "her" today.