Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Good Morning, Ed Westwick

I don't like being a dick to anybody on their birthday or anything, but I will if I have to, and I have to - in general I find Ed Westwick repellent. Like "I didn't watch Gossip Girl even though it had Penn Badgley and Chace Crawford on it because Ed Westwick negated all of their hotness" repellent. So what am I doing this for then? Well for one a friend of MNPP keeps pushing Ed at us, and I suppose this could be considered a bone thrown their way... 

... but it's really more complicated than that, because I have found myself horrified and confused and flustered over the past few weeks since seeing this scene (from the show White Gold) and having it stir... stuff up. I don't know if everybody has had this experience but back in college, when I was single and carefree and a raging alcoholic, I would go out a whole lot. A far cry from my current hermit life. I was "Living La Vida Loca" and I can say that because this was 1999 and that was a song I would dance to.

Anyway you'd go out a lot in a small city (holla Rochester) and so you'd end up seeing the same damn people every time. And there'd always be that dude around that you weren't attracted to but who eventually, well the string of nights going out wore you down and the drinks lifted you up and the town felt smaller and smaller, and you'd end up at least making out with that guy. The breeze would blow right and there'd be nobody else to make out with, ya know?

And so I wish Ed Westwick a happy birthday, and I do so with the breeze blowing right. I think what it really is (to digress even further back into my sordid sexual history - I am feeling chatty this morning!) there was this dude I went to Junior High and High School with that was one of the first guys I remember taking note of in the locker-room; he didn't look anything like Ed Westwick (he was an enormous and black football player) but he did wear those exact red underwear, or the early 90s equivalent anyway, and so that's one of those early fetish items that one can't help but have.

They get the engines revving all on their own. They do the heavy lifting. So it's working! It's working, Ed Westwick. Good work. You have worn me down, damn you. Happy birthday, you sexy for today  beast. And let's go ahead and hit the jump for a couple more...

1 comment:

JH said...

I'm with your friend - Ed's totally HOT! Glad to see his hairy chest here!