Thursday, May 11, 2017

Don't Tell Mom the Kidnapper's Dead

Go back and look at the reviews for the the Bette Midler & Shelley Long buddy comedy Outrageous Fortune in 1987. Not good. Roger Ebert said, "This is a movie that has its commercial concept written all over it; it's so painstakingly crafted as a product that the messy spontaneity of life is rarely allowed to interrupt." Or go back and look at the reviews for the also-starring-Shelley comedy Troop Beverly Hills two years later... not good. Also Ebert: "Nobody within a mile of this project seems to have possessed an ounce of irony."

You know what movies I've watched a million times from the 80s? Outrageous Fortune and Troop Beverly Hills. And it seems pretty clear that the folks who made Snatched, the new Amy Schumer action-comedy with Goldie Hawn playing Amy's mom, have watched the fuck out of those movies too. (You should add in a heaping extra helping of Romancing the Stone while we're at it.) 

I'm not making the case that "critics suck and you shouldn't listen to them" here. I mean, obviously. I am writing a review myself. I just think it's nice to think of the little girls and gay boys of today, and their whatever gendered like-minded kin, having their own Outrageous Fortunes -- these movies are dumb and broad and sappy as hell, but they're OUR dumb and broad and sappy as hell, and the multiplex is so exhaustingly self-serious with superhero robot apocalypse cock contests if I wanna sneak into the other theater to laugh at a reaction shot from a kitty cat once in awhile I should goddamned well be able to do that shit.

So no, Snatched isn't going to change the world. I'm sorry to tell you that. Go watch the 20th Pirates of the Caribbean or Transformers movies to get your dick good and sucked. But Snatched does have a couple of scenes that made me double over with laughter, it's got a hot guy to ogle, and there's a sweetness and a a comradery between Schumer & Hawn, two goofy golden gals, that's refreshing and still far far too rare on-screen. (Plus Wanda Sykes! And Joan Cusack! And Joan Cusack parkour sight-gags!) It's a light ninety minutes of goofy golden fun. And you can bet if this thing's on TV in the future me and my like-minded brethren will stop the channel and get caught up in its goofy golden ass all over again.


MTMSLG said...

I would rather ogle co-star Chris Meloni . . . Just sayin'

Anonymous said...

"exhaustingly self-serious with superhero robot apocalypse cock contests"

...honey, the muscular men/Chrises from these cock contests are responsible for about 80% of this blog's content, and are the main reason people come here. Know where your bread is buttered.

And I saw this movie and it's disposable trash.

Dale M. said...

Isn't "disposable trash" redundant? By definition, isn't all trash disposable? Either way, "Snatched" made me laugh a lot.

Dale M. said...

Oh, and did you get to see any of the Goldie Hawn retrospective at The Quad?

Jason Adams said...

I still haven't gotten to the Quad since the remodel! Shame on me