Anybody have any idea why Michael Fassbender & Alicia Vikander were doing all the press for The Light Between Oceans this past week when the movie isn't out until September? I know the two of them are in demand and everything so they've probably got tight (wait for it) schedules, but it seems a bit odd to me to do press for a film so small a month and a half early. Anyway I haven't watched the clip of Michael on Fallon doing all the latent-homosexual things that Jimmy makes all his sexy male guests do because I think if I actually watched Michael Fassbender do the things I know he does in this video I would have to leave work immediately. But here it is for you!
"I'm not sure why you're bothering. You will never - not in a million years - give the movie anything other than a negative review. It could check every single box of personal likes for you and you would hate it because it's a Christopher Nolan film. Meanwhile, you will heap praise on a piece of vacant, emotionless dreck like A Ghost Story and never once take issue with the fact that the lead actor is a rapist. Or you will spend hours praising effervescent masturbatory indulgences like the Twin Peaks reboot as high art. You are a fraud. An emotionally stunted child who has no business offering film criticism. "
--- If Michael Kirkhere was angry at me before I'd even reviewed Dunkirk then I guess he's probably none too keen on me now after I actually wrote my none too kind review. But here's to "effervescent masturbatory indulgences" though, for sure! Them's our faves!