Tuesday, September 01, 2015

I Am Link

--- Original Horror Hotel - A bunch of snappy little freaky teasers for the new American Horror Story season have been dropped, as they do every time around, and they made me realize that somebody needs to make sure that Ryan Murphy has seen the greatest "shared living space" horror film of all time, Crawlspace with Klaus Kinski, and that this Hotel of his honors that film as much as possible. Really, that film's bright and shining superstar Tané should replace Lady Gaga immediately, if you ask me. She could sing her signature tune "Just Tonight" and the world would know! The world would understand! At last!

--- Speaking AHS though, EW gets the word from a few members of the cast on what they're selling as "The Most Disturbing Scene This Show's Ever Done!" which yes they do every year, but this one does sound pretty out there, what with the talk of a "dildo demon" being tossed around. Sounds to me like Max Greenfield might be losing his on-screen butt virginity to it. Okay! I'll watch that.

--- Done By Dome - So did any of you stick with Under the Dome through this whole year? I gave up looong ago, which I admitted the last time I ogled Mike Vogel's nips here, which by the way are free, run free Mike Vogel's nips, the show has finally been canceled, after somehow making it to three inexplicable seasons; I guess nobody was even paying attention at CBS to what they're airing in the summertime. Anyway hooray Mike Vogel can go make movies where he can be naked now. I will say thank you to the show for putting Mike in all of those snug blue jeans, though.

--- Wonder Boot - I need to keep reminding myself that Patty Jenkins is directing Wonder Woman, because it's the only thing I got that's keeping any interest alive - I know it's unfair to judge Gal Gadot before seeing her in anything but... I can't help it. Anyway rumor is they're shooting the thing in Southern Italy now, so I would like to come and work on the set, please.

--- Almost Home - I don't think I realized that Ramin Bahrani's 99 Homes was out in just three weeks or so -- this is exciting! We've been waiting for this for awhile. I also feel ashamed that I keep forgetting it co-stars my beloved Laura Dern -- she's my favorite actor of the bunch, but I keep getting distracted by how much they're playing up Andrew Garfield's biceps in the press materials. Speaking of The Playlist has some clips and new pictures, several of which yes include Andrew Garfield's biceps (not to mention prominent Michael Shannon bulge, in one) because of course they do.

--- Bluer Velvet - There's a documentary about the making of David Lynch's Blue Velvet coming out in October and you can watch the trailer for it and read a little bit about what it's got to offer over here. (Thanks Mac) There's can never be enough Blue Velvet in the world. Here's to your fuck!

--- Who's There - I wasn't going to bother watching the trailer for Eli Roth's Knock Knock because 1) I'll clearly see the movie because I see everything Eli Roth bothers making (up to and including spectacles of himself shirtless and muddy) and 2) this happened and that annoys me to no end, but I blundered through somehow and it actually looks like a pretty fun movie! It's somehow still kind of impossible, even at his advanced age, to buy Keanu Reeves as a husband and father, but if the movie keeps itself simple and straightforward and has fun with its premise, it could be a nice little genre exercise.

--- And Finally a new trailer for MacBeth has dropped (here's a link to the first trailer and my methodical breakdown thereof) and it's stuffed to the gills with Fassy all wild-eyed and Marion all wild-eyed and color and fabric and color and slow-motion swordplay (unfortunately not the swordplay we hope for when we think of Michael Fassbender though) -- watch it and wonder! God I can't wait to see this damn thing.

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