Today I'd rather be....
... peeing on Michael Fassbender's rug.
I don't really know what that's a euphemism for (yeah, play innocent now, they'll totally buy it!) but it's in reference to the news that Michael will be portraying The Dude in Jason Reitman's upcoming live reading of The Big Lebowski at the end of the month in Montreal. Fassy abides! God I'd love to see this.