Going Gentle Into That Good Night

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This first pair of official stills from Jake Gyllenhaal's upcoming flick Nightcrawler (via) are only reinforcing my considerable self-loathing - where once I glared at this movie with fiery disapproval for forcing my favorite fella to drop an unhealthy amount of poundage now, with every new reveal, I realize what a simpleminded surface-minded fool I was. That poster and teaser trailer we saw last week, the first viral clip with Jake going bonkers, and now these pictures... well if I'm going to be surface-minded these are some goddamned lovely surfaces to focus that energy upon. Click 'em to embiggen the beauty - Robert Elswit gone done it again.

Let Your Hair Down, Isabelle Huppert

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if you follow me on any social media platform other than this blog (they're all linked there in the sidebar) then you probably saw me freaking out last night (well you did if you weren't part of the rampaging Sharknado Borg, that is) about my lil' visit to the Film Society of Lincoln Center where they were hosting "A Conversation With Isabelle Huppert" that was being conducted by the one the only John Waters. Okay I mentioned it here at the blog too. I sung it everywhere, I did, because I was fit to spill with enthusiasm. Did it live up to my hype?

Well duh. The first time I saw Huppert in person was a couple of years ago for a Q&A for the Denis film White Material and she was desperately, hilariously uninvolved in the process, sitting with her arms angrily crossed barely answering anything. I said then that this was "EXACTLY what I want from Isabelle Huppert," and I stand by that - it was like The Piano Teacher came to life on that stage, it was awesome. Last night was a whole 'nother ball o' wax though - Waters clearly perked her up and she was a very different Huppert. Enthusiastic, funny, charming. She was super. My favorite part came early when she mentioned the list of Serious Directors that Waters had rattled off that she'd worked with - she said she'd love to add his name to that roster and then looked down, mimed gigantic breasts a la Selma Blair in A Dirty Shame, and said she might have to change herself a little to fit into one of his films, though.

After the interview I wondered if maybe some of the older Upper West Side crowd might've not known what to make of their repartee, which touched on Michael Haneke, abortion, and genitalia mutilation with equal enthusiasm, and so I was happy to read in this other person's recap from the night (thanks Mac) that they had an old lady flabbergasted near them by the ordeal. How perfect! I can only pray that some of these types show up to the retrospective of Waters' films in September, too.We can all terrify the blue-hairs together.

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?

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Do Dump or Marry: DDM the MMA

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Well I've been posting so much about this MMA show Kingdom (see here yesterday for proof) that I certainly must take advantage of the fact that it's now got a trailer, and a trailer at that stuffed to the gills with what MMA is all about... namely piling terrifically hot dudes on top of one another in the name of insert manly-man-phrasing here. There's lots of this:

In this case the three main terrifically hot dudes are played by the three fellows you up top - from left to middle to right that's Nick Jonas, Frank Grillo, and Jonathan Tucker. Here's the trailer...

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... and here are the dudes. Nick Jonas...

... and Frank Grillo...

... and Jonathan Tucker...

And now in the interest of something not really like science at all I am asking you to make your "Do Dump or Marry" opinions on this threesome known in the comments.

Oh and in case you need more convincing one way or another, hit the jump for more caps from that trailer because really it is a total beefcake fest from start to finish.

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

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"You will never escape my vengeance, or of Satan's! 

My revenge will seek you out, 

and with the blood of your sons, 

and of their sons, and their sons, 

I will continue to live forever! 

They will restore me to life you now rob from me!"

Black Sunday (1960)

The great horror director Mario Bava 

was born 100 years ago today!

I feel like he should probably be waking up 

from a gypsy or witch curse right about now?

Links to all the previous Ways Not To Die after the jump...

I Am Link

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--- Bathed In Gold - Somebody figure out the riddle of who Robert Pattinson is talking here in Esquire UK:

"This actress was doing a scene in the bath and she kept complaining about the temperature, how it was too hot or too cold. So everyone pissed in it and put a bunch of bubble bath in afterwards so you couldn’t smell it! This stuff happens. That’s why I avoid asking for anything. I don’t want to get anyone’s piss on me."

Michael at DListed thinks it could have been Reese Witherspoon on the set of Water For Elephants, which sounds possible given Reese's reputation. But there are also a couple of actresses in that Bel Ami movie he was in (no not the Eastern European porn, unfortunately) I could see this going down with. So who has a bath scene? It's not like I'm watching any of these movies myself.

--- Getting Wet - That girl pretending that a cardigan makes her shy and dumpy in the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer has just been cast in the new movie from I Am Love director Luca Guadagnino, which is one we've been following ever since I Am Love wowed us so hard, but with her casting comes more info than we've had so far - it's going to be called A Bigger Splash and it's a remake of the 1969 flick La Piscine, which starred Romy Schneider and Alain Delon as a couple who get into a love triangle with the younger Jane Birkin. I've never seen La Piscine, but I have seen Alain Delon in it...

... I really should see La Piscine. The most important news I haven't even gotten to - in this here remake, Tilda Swinton and Ralph Fiennes are playing the older couple. Yeah, we all live or die by this movie now. It is everything.

--- Tom's Friend - My current favorite ginger whose named doesn't rhyme with ass-bender has a new job - Domhnall Gleeson is going to be in that Leonardo Dicaprio / Tom Hardy movie The Revenant that I can only get mildly excited about because A) I don't really love Leo and B) it's being directed by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, blecch. But still, we do love Domhnall, and maybe he'll play Tom hardy's boyfriend or something.

--- Monster Maker - I wasn't as crazy-in-love with Wadjda as a lot of people seemed to be (my review) but I do find it interesting that its director is making a movie about Frankenstein author Mary Shelley starring Elle Fanning next - that's a leap! The movie will be about her romance with Percy Shelley when she was 17, before she wrote the book that would come to define her.

--- Crouching Hot Piece - I'm glad to see that Harry Shum Jr. is getting a gig somewhere off of Glee, because, uh, well because he is a hot piece, full stop. (More pictures here.) I have no idea if he can act. Anyway Harry is bringing his abs to the Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon sequel! The choreographer of the fight scenes in Ang Lee's original movie is playing director this time, but Michelle Yeoh is returning to the role she was so so good in. Another hot piece, Donnie Yen, is co-starring.

--- Note To Self - read this long piece on the making of David Ayer's Fury (I mean Haircut: The Movie) over at The New York Times on your lunch break. (thanks Mac) There are several pictures of Brad Pitt's haircut to break up the monotony of all them words, thankfully.
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Pic of the Day

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Yeah I'm pretty sure that even though it's super early in the day I'm not going to see a picture that I'll find more intriguing than this shot from Mad Max: Fury Road (via) of Tom Hardy with an unconscious Nicholas Hoult slung over his shoulders. But I leave the possibility of proving me wrong on that score open to the world - please, go ahead world, give me something more than this. Like, give me a shot from the movie a couple of minutes later where Tom's dragged Nicky to his cave and stripped him down and... so forth. I'm all in.

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Good Morning, World

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Yesterday I linked to the trailer for Horns - Alexandre Aja's adaptation of Joe Hill's not-half-bad book - and said I wasn't going to bother watching it unless one of you guys told me Daniel Radcliffe went shirtless in it, since I already planned on seeing the movie. Well one of you, thank you Anonymous, told me just that, and sure enough I watched the trailer and it's like a shirtless-Daniel-Radcliffe-palooza up in there. Sell sell sell!

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Seeing Joe Anderson makes me happy, I love him.
Anyway natch I took a few caps, hit the jump for it...

When John Met Izzy

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Alright folks I am off to watch John Waters and Isabelle Huppert sit on a stage together, and talk, and massage my most happy places with their words - I'll report back tomorrow if my brain can even survive the awesomeness. There's a chance I might just hari-kari myself at show's end because what could ever live up to this? Oh wait the John Waters retrospective is in September, that's right. I'll wait til that's over. Oh wait they're showing Paul Thomas Anderson's new movie at the New York Film Festival, I've got to see that. Well damn, this stabbing myself thing might just be too much trouble. We'll see where we stand come the holidays, I guess.

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Jean-Paul Belmondo Two Times

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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... licking Jonathan Tucker's wounds.

Yes that's Mr. Tucker running bare-assed across the set of his fictional upcoming MMA show Kingdom (via his always spectacularly entertaining Instagram); and yes, though you can't see his face that's his co-star Nick Jonas watching Mr. Tucker run bare-assed across the set. Point being -- can I come to this set? Pretty please?  I've posted about this show at the Tumblr a couple of times in case you need more half- to totally naked Jonathan Tucker. I know you do.

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Which is Hotter?

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Ed Swanson as the Tall Fisherman or
Patricia DeCou as Mary Brown in The Blair Witch Project?

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poll by twiigs.com

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Blair Witch came out fifteen years ago today! I was tempted to do the final scene for tomorrow's Way Not To Die in the anniversary's honor but really, we never see anything - maybe Mike makes it out of that corner just fine. He was just being a silly-pants! Silly Mike. (Yes, that's the sound of someone who was psychically damaged by something he saw fifteen years ago trying to backtrack from the horrors. Eff the haters, Blair Witch rules.)

One Day My Two Princes Will Come

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Well now I have that Spin Doctors song stuck in my head, lucky me. I don't know Sondheim's music for this show at all, please tell me that Chris Pine and Billy Magnussen will be covering the Spin Doctors??? That would be so Sondhiem. (I think I just made some people's heads explode with that sentence, hardy har.) Anyway JJ has the first set of pictures from Into the Woods, Rob Marshall's upcoming Oscar-season musical, and obviously I gravitated to the shots of Pine & Magnussen since they (and okay some Meryl too) are the only reasons I'll be seeing this thing.

Speaking of Billy Magnussen though, he's on stage taking his clothes off again -- huzzah! (See a big gratuitous post on Billy here.) The show is called Sex With Strangers and he's acting opposite Breaking Bad's wonderful wine-slinger Anna Gunn. You can see a clip reel here (thanks Mac) and here are a couple of pictures...