Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

John Carter (2012)

Kantos Kan: Ah, Zodanga, where the men are as 

limited as the menu and woman are as hard as the beds. 

This might be the only time in history that somebody says that anybody has anything positive to learn from the John Carter movie, but really we're just here so's I can use the occasion of James Purefoy's 50th birthday to post a gratuitous gif or two of him, including a terrifically memorable shot from Rome that, looing through my Purefoy archives I see I've somehow never posted here. Shock, horror, et cetera, hit the jump...