Meet The New Men In New Rosemary's Life

Well they're plunking ahead with the Rosemary's Baby remake at NBC, even though I've sent numerous evil hexes their direction - I guess I'm not a very good Satanist after all. Everything I learned I learned from Samantha on Bewitched and I guess she's turned out to be a lousy piece of shit teacher. Thanks for nothing, Samantha! We learned last week that it's Zoe Saldana that's grabbing her career by the ears and tossing it straight into the dumpster by taking on Mia Farrow's iconic role; now we've got word of who's playing the two main men in Rosemary's life. 

Guy Woodhouse aka Rosemary's baby-chucking hubby, who was played with what some people say was too much obvious devilry by John Cassavetes in Roman Polanski's film, is going to be played by Patrick J. Adams. Adams is on that Suits show. I have never seen it. He kind of has a baby face so I guess they're angling for the opposite tack than what Cassavetes brought. I'll defend Cassavetes to my grave - I think it's Rosemary's inability to see the evil right in front of her that is the scary thing. Anyway then there's the new Roman...

... who's going to be played by Jason Isaacs. Straight up: Jason Isaacs is a sexy beast. This is going to drastically alter the relationship between Rosemary and Roman. Jason Isaacs is not a father figure (hell, a grandfather figure) to someone Zoe Saldana's age. He is a love interest. 

That said, I don't mind this change? I mean I mind all of this even happening, but if it has to, well I'm not saying it will be good, but it does alter the dynamics at play and it will be interesting to see how it plays out. Kind of like it's interesting to watch a snake devour a mouse in slow-motion on YouTube. And I'm assuming this means that Roman's wife Minnie will also be played by someone much younger than Ruth Gordon, too. Basically it's just going to be a bunch of sexy people in an apartment building. It's going to be that failed television show 666 Park Avenue, just set in Paris. Everything interesting, all of the weird relationships, are going to be sanded down to generics-ville. And then we can all go watch our the Mia Farrow version on DVD and forget this ever happened. It's a plan!

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