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"If I only gave a quarter of my sperm donations to a clinic, I could still do it. In my late teens and early twenties? Oh jeez, you could have taken that much sperm out just by doing my laundry, or cleaning my sheets and laundering my socks… If I thought about it, I would have made a fortune myself."
-- Chris Pratt co-stars in an upcoming Vince Vaughn comedy about a dude who donates so much sperm to make ends meet that, thanks to some screenwriting chicanery, he ends up fathering more than five hundred kids. This is why Chris Pratt is giving an interview where he talks about his lifetime masturbation habits. (And also admits he was temporarily a stripper.) In related news, Vince Vaughn just did something the first good thing for the world that he's done in a really long time.
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