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Thursday, October 31, 2013
Copley Versus Kretschmann
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The "Scary Movies" fest at the Film Society of Lincoln Center begins today and runs through November 7th, and one of the films they're showing is called Open Grave and it stars two of my favorite foreign-born crushes - Sharlto Copley and Thomas Kretschmann. A trailer's just been released (via), watch it here (although beware it seems kind of spoilery)...
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I had intended to see the film this weekend at the fest but now I'm going out of town so I shall miss it. I'm also missing Eli Roth being there with his new movie The Green Inferno, and I don't even want to talk about that!
Anyway Open Grave is apparently being released on demand on Christmas Eve - because what does one want more whilst on the verge of dreaming of sugarplums than people in their underpants wrapped up in barbed wire? I surely cannot tell you! - so I guess I'll check out it out then. I do worry though - it's via the director of Evil Moon Rock Movie Apollo 18, which was so bad I thought I would die while watching it. Well, this can only be better. I mean there's no way it could possibly be worse than Apollo 18. Such a thing just is not possible. The world would've torn itself asunder already if such a feat had been accomplished.
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Halloween's Ways Not To Die
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Much more (including some spoilers) about the movie, with plenty more gratuity from that big lug Reb Brown as well as lead actor Dirk Benedict, after the jump...
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Giving love to this scene's been a long time coming - ever since Glenn gave it good love this time last year during his "31 Horrors" at Stale Popcorn I knew it would have to enter our pantheon of Ways Not To Die; the question was just when. Well I needed to actually see Sssssss first, and that took some time. Things just fell into place (or should I say slithered) when we decided to do a list of The 13 Snakes of Halloween for this year's All Hallows holiday celebration.
Look at the way he yanks that snake from between that meathead's gargantuan thighs. I mean could this scene be any more up our alley? A big dumb stud-muffin (I love that frame of him right before he gets bitten - the look of brain-dead happiness on his face at that moment!) naked as the day he was born getting offed in a weird pervy gay-as-all-get-out way? If we had a flag this scene could be it.
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Happy 31, Justin Chatwin
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Do you think it's a blessing or a curse to have a birthday on Halloween? It's not like Christmas where everybody else is getting gifts on YOUR day - I think it would probably be fun to be able to have costumed birthday parties where everybody's into it. Of course I remember when I was a little kid I went to a Halloween party where they had a piñata, and I was the one who broke it open and I got SO UPSET when everybody else rushed in and started grabbing the candy - it was me who smashed the goddamned thing, those were my spoils! Buncha bastards. Point being, selfishness belongs to all of the holidays. Second point being, take those pants back off, Justin Chatwin. We're not finished here.
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Brand New Super Boy
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Professional cos-player slash bulge enthusiast Aaron Johnson has a new costume to add to his fetishistic repertoire - he has been officially confirmed as Quicksilver in the upcoming Avengers sequel, after months and months of hot and sweaty speculation. And so now we are in turn officially enthusiastic, terribly terribly so, to see Aaron tossed in there into the middle of Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner, Clark Gregg and Tom Hiddleston, and see how they go about initiating him into the super-hero fold. Have at him, fellas!
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Which Is Hotter?
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Besides everything Pennywise-related (Tim Curry is so effing brilliant in this movie), the only part of the adult-half of It that I ever remember is this scene, for obvious disgusting reasons. Grody to the max. Watch the whole scene here:
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Evan Peters Five Times
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I actually now feel guilty for making fun of Evans Peters' hair the other week, because now that I've seen it smeared with blood in last night's episode of American Horror Story I totally get it. (And today being Halloween, I don't have to mention my therapist once while admitting this.)
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Good Morning, Zombies
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This scene from The Walking Dead the other week is seriously the scariest thing they've done in years - maybe even ever. Being woken up by a zombie chewing on your larynx is not the way, you guys. NOT THE WAY.
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Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...
... you can learn from:
Harold & Maude (1971)
Maude: A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They're just backing away from life. Reach out. Take a chance. Get hurt even. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an E. L-I-V-E. LIVE! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room.
I'm not even kidding, I just burst into tears reading that dialogue to myself. Ruth Gordon, beautiful beautiful Ruth Gordon, was born one hundred and seventeen years ago today. On a list of my favorite people, she'd be way way up there.
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