BAM Rant

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(via) I wish that had been my view last night. ALAS. As an addendum to my earlier review of Only God Forgives slash take on the Q&A that followed at the Brooklyn Academy of Music last night I'd like to add this - me and BAM are almost, to quote Christian Bale, fucking done professionally. This is two out of two times that I've been to the brand new "exciting" Harvey Theater, and both times, movie aside, have been irritating semi-miserable experiences. 

The first time I was there (for Ain't Them Bodies Saints) I was in the balcony, and the seats up there are basically unbearable to sit in. They're rigid refurbished barber's chair type deals that were a literal pain to sit in after fifteen minutes, much less a full film's length. I'll ask for a refund before I ever spend another night in them. 

And as for last night's Only God Forgives screening I get that it was a premiere but nothing makes me angrier than an exorbitant amount of seats being set aside for industry folks, and last night the entire, and I mean the entire, center section was roped off, inaccessible to us little folk who, you know, actually paid money to see the movie. So we get shuffled off to the shit seats so Adrian fucking Grenier can stroll in thirty seconds before the movie starts and sit dead center.

And then they start late, and then they have five people giving speeches before every screening - apparently I'm supposed to give a shit that somebody somewhere gave birth, because millions of other total strangers to me aren't doing that every goddamned second. It's just been a shoddily run experience, twice over, and I don't even like the gross way they remodelled the theater anyway with all that faux rustic paint-chip nonsense...

... everything looks like Geoffrey Rush's office in The King's Speech and it's so fucking affected and will be dated in two years - just paint the goddamned walls, you know?

Ahem. Excuse me, I just had to get that out - I feel slightly better. Apparently today's my day to talk bullshit about New York's movie theaters. (See also.) Orphans and war refugees the world over weep for me, I'm sure.

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