Hacks Slash Slash Stash

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First off I apologize for using a picture that reminds us of that wrongheaded 2009 Friday the 13th reboot - I was distracted by Jared Padalecki's biceps, they made me do it. Moving on - have you been wondering what the fuck was up with Jason Voorhees? Yeah me too. That 2009 movie, while sucking and seeming to have no idea what made Jason Jason, did alright at the box office - it made just shy of 70 million bucks while only costing a fraction of that. But then... nothing. Did the less successful (by every measure) Nightmare on Elm Street reboot that came the next year effectively kill the willpower of those horrible horrible people at Platinum Dunes? God we hope so. They have the abysmal looking The Purge coming out soon (this movie's concept makes me crazy it is so freaking dumb), but otherwise they're horror free right now.

Anyway Freddy and Jason have both seemed toe up ever since - good job, guys! You killed the unkillable. Until... now? Slash has word that because of some behind-the-scenes finagling between Warner Brothers and Paramount over the rights to Christopher Nolan's next movie that there's a pretty good chance that Paramount will be going ahead and making a Friday the 13th movie, at least within the next five years. 

Go read the details at Slash if that interests you; the only thing that interest me is More Jason! Give him to a filmmaker who has a clue this time, and reel one of these suckers out already! I don't get why anybody pretends this is rocket science, it's the easiest thing in the world - plop the hockey stud down in a summer camp and set the kiddies to puree! Wham bam movie magic. Please no retelling of his freaking origin story - nobody gives a rat's ass. And you know who needs a job? Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon's director Scott Glosserman. Just toss it into his lap with five million bucks and I bet you we get something freaking amazing. Why can't studios think this way? I mean, damn.