.
When I read this article at Film.com yesterday predicting the top 25 movies of this approaching Summer it was mentally exhausting to me - these are the best we can do? What a horror show. The topic came up in conversation again last night with Glenn - the movies coming out from studios this year? They pretty much all deserve to flop. Steven Soderbergh was right! What an abysmal sight, the lot of it. It would be easier for me to go through the movies coming out this Summer and list the few I want to see because the number is few and far between, but I'm feeling dickish today so instead, here are the five movies that look absolutely dreadful that I hope bomb hard (but they probably will not). And don't feel let off the hook, Hangover slash Grown Ups slash Red slash Smurfs slash Despicable Me slash Fast/Furious sequels - I hate you too. This list could be five times as long and remain every ounce as exasperated.
The Internship - I felt like I was watching a commericla for Google just watching the trailer (I was); I can't imagine two hours of this. I can't even fucking imagine. It sounds like a nightmare - two viscerally horrifying gut-churning hours of nightmare. Fuck Vince Vaughn, and Owen - I'm tired of telling you you should know better. I hope Wes Anderson stops taking your calls.
After Earth - I have reached the end of the line with Will Smith. Much less his bratty little spawn. And much much less M. Night.
World War Z - I liked Brooks' book alright, but this thing resembles that book about as much as I get confused for Brad Pitt. And I don't even know what I'm supposed to be taking away from those shots of human body pile-ups, but I doubt "absolutely nothing" was the answer they were going for.
The Lone Ranger - Doesn't it feel like this movie was made in 1998? it was made right around the time that Wild Wild West and The Avengers (the one with Uma and Ralph) were made, only they hadn't flopped yet so they didn't realize that nobody should want to see ridiculously over-priced remakes of tv shows two generations old now. I still love you Armie, but you need to use your powers for good (getting naked finally) and not for evil (Johnny Depp).
Planes - Wait, this is actually a thing?
.
Posts
5 comments:
Ugh, what a rogue's gallery of must-misses. 100% agreeance.
3 of these 5 are in my 10 that I will not see unless someone pays for me and they don't mind that I fall asleep.
Not to mention how dismissive they are of Guillermo del Toro's first movie in five fucking years ("comparable movie: Battleship", "this is a purely international play").. so yeah, they sound like they know their stuff.
What's wrong with Iron Man 3?
Besides it stars the most obnoxious man in show business?
Post a Comment