Friday, March 29, 2013

TGT12: The Great Gratuities #10-6

Okay-dokey, you can see all of the runners-up over here. You can see #20-16 here, and you can see #15-11 here. Next!

Joe Manganiello in Magic Mike - Top ten is surely nothing to sneeze at, yet I'm a little confounded myself that he's only this high and I'm the one that put him here. Maybe I was annoyed at all the Big Dick Richie talk with the little dick action? I'd argue most of his good stuff was only in the DVD extras but that argument deflates with what's coming further down this list so whatever. He's here, and he is a perfect thing.

Taylor Kitsch in John Carter, Battleship and Savages - Another case a la McConaughey of me being unable to step aside from the sheer volume of the year's gratuity from him - Taylor doesn't totally do it for me, but I know that's blasphemy to some of y'all. And he gets points taken off since they kept the shoulda-been-nekkid John Carter all dolled up in Martian straps. And he had the misfortune of showing off his ass, fine though it may be, only moments removed from an ass which causes angels to erupt into heavenly song (we're getting to that one soon). But you know. He's number nine. There must've been something I liked. Something!

Milo Ventimiglia in That's My Boy - Remember that skinny kid that was in The Gilmore Girls? Yeah me neither. Goddamn Milo has filled out, and out, and out, in all the exact right places. Too bad he's forced to flaunt it in shitty Adam Sandler comedies, but that's supposing that "badness" can attach itself to something so supple and divine as all that there. (see more here)

Alex Pettyfer in Magic Mike - That shot above? Is that the hottest shot in any movie this year? I think it might be the hottest shot in any movie this year. I can't really explain what it is about it that makes me go so crazy. Well the ass certainly helps. I guess it's his sleazy coyness. The whole generic "bad boy" thing is usually lost on me but Pettyfer really, really makes it work. I have posted that shot alone here at the blog like ten times already. It's in the right-hand column right now! It is perfect. But I think he's actually pretty great in Magic Mike all around. And around. Did I say round?

Zac Efron in The Paperboy - This movie is basically a paean to the sight of Zac Efron in tighty-whities. No wonder Macy Gray seemed so stoned all the time - she's high off of laundry detergent for all the underpants scrubbing she's got to do in that house. (Yeah that's why Macy Gray seems stoned.) But if you're gonna make a paean to something, Zac Efron in tighty-whities is pretty much a really really fine choice. Bonus points to Zac for super low-rise boxer briefs he sported in The Lucky One, and all that time he spent half-naked on his hotel balcony too. (More here and here and here.)

Coming up -- THE TOP FIVE!!!

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