Picture it! You're at a party, gently sipping your warm chardonnay, when you look over across the room and wham, that's what you see. An eyeful of Frenchies! Alright alright Matthias Schoenaerts is Belgian but 49% of Belgians speak French (thank you, Siri) so allow me to uncomplicate things for brevity's sake, please.
Anyway he fake-schtupped Marion Cotillard in Rust and Bone and that makes him an honorary Frenchman, right? I'm pretty sure that's how you get French citizenship.
You know who gets to real-schtup Marion Cotillard? Her lover actor/director Guillaume Canet. He looks so tiny in that top picture! Is he tiny? He never seemed like a tiny man before. (See a big gratuitous post on him here.) I guess standing next to Matthias would dwarf anybody.
And then of course there's Jean Dujardin. He starred in Canet's film Little White Lies with Marion. I don't think they schtup in it but I haven't seen it - it just hit Netflix this week so I'll finally get around to that after wanting to for some time, even though you all told me it's awful.
do hump and marry them all!
This may be the toughest one ever. I'm torn between GC and JD, so MS is getting the boot (i.e., dumped). I guess I'll do JD and marry GC, but it's a very close battle that one.
Marry Matthias because waking up to that everyday for the rest of one's life is the way to live, Do Marion Cottiard's hot piece of a husband and dump Djardian. I just don't get the appeal, really.
Marry DuJardin - so lovely and seems that he will age incredibly well.
Do Schoenaarts - he's hot, but that hat makes me think he's a douche. Of course hipster nonsense is probably different in Belgium.
Dump that other guy, whatever.
Do Matthias Schoenaerts
Dump Guillaume (boring)
Marry Jean Dujardin (charming and hammy forever)
Do/ Marry Dujardin
do - Schoenaerts
dump - guillaume
marry - dujardin - i want him making those faces while sitting on MY face
Do Mattias - handsome guy!
Dump Jean - don't mind him, but I saw one of his movies where he had long hair and that's totally not my thing!
Marry the sweet Guillaume Canet! What a cutie pie.
Dujardin has a lot of energy and could be fun, but I feel like I'd just be exasperated. So dump him.
Canet is adorable, but seems like he's gotten around so do him, but marry Schoenaerts, whose quiet demeanor makes me think that he'd be into pleasing.
Dump Mattias - He's hot but not that hot.
Do Dujardian - A fine piece of Ass.
Marry Canet - Get to meet the mother of his child and can get with her instead ;)
Matthias Schoenaerts is Flemish so his native language is Dutch, but he does also speak French.
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