Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Do Dump or Marry - Gangster Style

For awhile I thought I was excited to see Gangster Squad, but I think I realized this week that that excitement was all smoke and mirrors - I really don't have any desire to see it any more. Weird, huh? It's just the more I saw the trailer the weaker everything looked. It seems really posturing, somehow. Anyway I was having that conversation with the boyfriend last night and then I read Glenn's review and it seems I was maybe right about it. So... go me. 

The only reason I'd want to see it is to see Ryan Gosling in those well-fitting old-timey slacks he was seen rocking all over the set; that got me thinking - we don't really get our male gangsters as hyper-sexualized as we oughta. Gangster Movies are all about the character actors - the tough guys and their scars and nooks and crannies. (Think upon Scorsese's anti-pretty troupe.) But now and again there's somebody worth giving a lustful glance, maybe going on a crime spree with. Here are three of my favorites!

That is of course Warren Beatty in Bonnie and Clyde, Viggo Mortensen in Eastern Promises, and Vincent Cassel in La Haine
And now, you must choose - which would you have one night of violent sweaty slap-around passion with, which would you hitch yourself to for a (probably brief) life of matrimonial mayhem with, and which would you give the cement shoes?


Heather said...

Do Vincent - 'Cause I think he would do the one night/slap around silly kind really well

Dump Warren - I've always thought he was a bit slimy

Marry Viggo - For however long it may last.

Anonymous said...

Beatty really was the hottest thing on the planet for a while. Tall, dark, handsome, muscular, sigh.

tara said...

Damn, this is a hard decision.

Do Vincent. I'm sure that would be quite the experience.

Dump Warren. He looks too much like my partner's dad. No thank you.

Marry Viggo. Then I could have sex with him every night as opposed to just one.

Anonymous said...

Do and marry Beatty.
Dump and kill the other 2 losers.

joel65913 said...

If we're talking prime era Warren it would have to be:
Marry Warren
Do Viggo
Dump Vincent

billybil said...

Well I have a feeling Viggo is really good for the long haul so I'm gonna marry him.

That means I'll have to do prime era Warren cause...well...Jesus...

Although Heather and Tara are probably right - doing Vincent would undoubtedly be much more interesting but...I'm a sucker for beauty so I gotta dump Vincent.

iggy said...

Dump: Beatty. Although he looks great in that photo, he also looks like the kind of guy who'd have a mirror to look at himself while making it.

Marry: Mortensen. Love an Argentinian accent in my ear.

Do: Cassel, because why not?