.
Good grief.
.
Friday, September 28, 2012
You Wanna Give Me More Of This?
.
"All that said I think I would totally watch a sequel? If they can trudge themselves out of origins-ville and try to tell a new story, or you know, an actual story, with two very lovely very talented leads? I could absolutely be there. They've just got to meet me halfway. I think the halfway mark is "we have a story this time," right? Where's the line of demarcation? Is it at "we have a story this time" or is it at "Here are two more hours of Andrew Garfield in spandex, eat it up sucker"? I always get those spots confused."
What he said.
.
Today's Fanboy Delusion
Today I'd rather be...
... hanging ten with Gerry & Jonny.
(via) You'd have to scoop out my eyes with a melon-baller and eat them and then buy me a dog to drag my eye-less face to the theater in order to get me anywhere near Chasing Mavericks, but that doesn't mean I don't like staring at this picture of Gerard Butler and Jonny Weston half outta their wetsuits all the same.
.
Who Wore It Best?
Young Bruce Willis Face?
.
.
Looper is out today and maybe we'll finally understand the on-the-surface inexplicable reason that they made Joe up to look like Bruce instead of the other way around. I guess Bruce has the pull to nix tedious daily prosthetics and Joe does not, is what it probably came down to, but still. I pay the money, I wanna look at Joe's mug, dammit!
Not that I'm not psyched for Looper.
And not that I have anything against looking at Bruce.
Yadda yadda check out my piece over at Celebrity Beehive
for the "scoop" on all this weekend's new releases. Scoop!
Freeman At The End of the World
.
"Martin has been cast in the Edgar Wright-Simon Pegg comedy film which also features Nick Frost, Paddy Considine and Eddie Marsan..
The film is about five childhood friends who reunite, 20 years after taking on the mother of all pub crawls, to attempt it again. Only this time, it coincides with an event that may just be the apocalypse - can the quintet make it to The World’s End pub before the world ends?
Martin had previous cameos in Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz which are the previous two parts of Wright & Pegg’s "Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy."
The World’s End is scheduled for release on August 14, 2013. Filming is already underway."
Vicky & Carrie Sittin' In A Tree
.
Two of the shows highest on my current obsession list are back this weekend for their highly anticipated second seasons, huzzah! The sordid twisty and deliciously soapy tale of the Hampton Graysons called Revenge is back on ABC at 9pm on Sunday.
And then at 10pm on Showtime is the return of Crazy Carrie in the, uh, sordid twisty and slightly less deliciously soapy but still pretty soapy while simultaneously maintaining an air of political seriousness all the same tale called Homeland. Double huzzah! (ETA if you need a spoilery recap of Homeland's first season, something I just found tremendously useful, read Sean T. Collins' over at Rolling Stone.)
Will you be watching?
.
Pic of the Day
.
(thanks Mac) Christie's is auctioning off a bunch of James Bond stuff in honor of the franchise's fiftieth anniversary, including yes the teensy blue trunks that Daniel Craig wore in Casino Royale and turned this Bond atheist into a true believer. They're expected to go for several thousand dollars, and then immediately be stolen from whoever buys them by an over-heated blogger in a ninja costume who comically hits them on the head with a frying pan outside the auction house.
Seriously though, who is the girl in that photograph? She agreed to be photographed looking at the bulge of those shorts like she'd been hypnotized. She is my hero.
And just because we'll never pass up the opportunity...
I Am Link
.
--- Biggest Bond - If you want nay need your "Daniel Craig in a tight suit" fix to be as big as a small skyscraper then you're in luck, and a day early at that - Skyfall will be released on November 8th on IMAX, a full 24 hours before it gets released on those puny little normal screens. (That's here in the States; it's opening a couple weeks earlier in some other countries.) Also it just got a PG-13 rating for violence and "some sexuality," which doesn't sound like the full-on explicit penetration I'd really been hoping for but I suppose it'll do.
--- Fancy Panties - Meanwhile Dead Man Down, the movie starring Dominic Cooper's purple underpants, will be released on March 8th, 2013, a month earlier than planned. Besides Dom's underoos it also stars Colin Farrell, Noomi Rapace and Isabelle Huppert, but they're all overshadowed by you know what.
--- On the Overlook - Speaking of the film fest, I'm not seeing it until next week but I am super duper excited about Room 237, the doc about Stanley Kubrick's The Shining and the strange online enthusiasms it's inspired. Here's an interview with its director (which I'm putting off reading til after I see the movie.)
--- Add Some Swinton - Tilda's role in Terry Gilliam's next movie, which I was super excited about (this is a meeting of like minds I wanna see), is only a cameo, apparently. She's doing just one day of shooting. Hey, every movie should at least have a dash of Swinton to spice things up, I guess. Positive spin!
--- Biggest Bond - If you want nay need your "Daniel Craig in a tight suit" fix to be as big as a small skyscraper then you're in luck, and a day early at that - Skyfall will be released on November 8th on IMAX, a full 24 hours before it gets released on those puny little normal screens. (That's here in the States; it's opening a couple weeks earlier in some other countries.) Also it just got a PG-13 rating for violence and "some sexuality," which doesn't sound like the full-on explicit penetration I'd really been hoping for but I suppose it'll do.
--- Dodd & Friends - I didn't participate in The Film Experience's group-think on Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master because as I said the other day, I remain slightly baffled, and I wanna see it again. I am happy to see from what everybody's saying over there though that I am not alone. Mind you this is not a bad bafflement. But I gotta see it again. (With the NYFF starting this weekend I have no idea when I will get around to it, though.)
--- New Old River - River Phoenix died with eleven days of shooting left on what would be his final film, called Dark Blood, so the studio shut the picture down never to be finished. Until now - it's director has cut together a version and screened it in the Netherlands, and AICN has a review. Unsurprisingly, since none of the intended final scenes were ever shot, it's more interesting as a time-capsule than an accomplished product, says the reviewer.
.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
.
(via) I've got a doctor's appointment and then a screening, so that's it for today. This gif will just have to keep you company until I return, presumably tomorrow, as long as the Old Ones don't rise between now and then. Enjoy!
.
Speaking Of Daniel Craig...
.
... this new Skyfall behind-the-scenes shot speaks to me.
(click to embiggen)
.
Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...
... you can learn from:
Sylvia (2003)
Ted: A fucking good poem is a weapon. It's...and not like a "pop", it's a bomb. A bloody big bomb!Sylvia: That's why they make children learn them in school.They don't want them messing about with them on their own.I mean, just imagine if a sonnet went off accidentally. Boom.
.
Nestor Checks In (But He Won't Check Out!)
.
Lost's Kohl-smudged mercenary Nestor Carbonell has just joined the cast of that Psycho prequel TV show called Bates Motel, which is coming from Lost's Carlton Cuse. Freddie Highmore is set to play Norman, and Vera Farmiga his mother. Dunno who Nestor's playing yet - there's speculation he'll be Mama Bates' troublesome man-friend. Anyway I hope that Nestor brings along those pants I liked so much. Or he could just skip straight to his own shower scene. Whatever.
Thursday's Ways Not To Die
.
Goldfinger (1964)
I've never seen Goldfinger. Today's Way Not To Die was inspired by, of all things, Mitt Romney and his wife and Rachel Maddow. Ann had that plane trouble earlier this week and Rachel was making fun of Mitt's bizarre "joke" about it...
"I appreciate the fact that she is on the ground, safe and sound. And I don't think she knows just how worried some of us were... When you have a fire in an aircraft, there's no place to go, exactly, there's no – and you can't find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don't open. I don't know why they don't do that. It's a real problem."
... and in so doing Rachel showed the above clip and I was all, "Well that's this week's Way Not To Die."Simple as that.
Anyway I know I've admitted this before but maybe you thought I'd fixed this egregious error by now so let me make it clear - the only James Bond movies I have ever seen, still, are the Daniel Craig ones. So tell me, dear readers: if I go about fixing this, which ones should I watch? Do I need to tackle them in order? Should I just watch the Sean Connery ones and be done with it? Sound off!
--------------------------------------
Previous Ways Not To Die: Razor Bunting -- Stabbed Thru The Heart And Witches Are To Blame -- Shark Kibble -- Is That a Straight Razor In Your Trunks Or Are You Just Happy To See Me -- Bad Dates -- Fry Guy'd -- Super Battle Bystander Shrapnel Shred -- Staring Contest of the Dead -- Satanic Self Sacrifice -- Fist and Fortune -- Psychedelic Penis Slice To Window Toss -- For Crimes Against Accent -- Sacked -- Speed Bumped For Traffic Spikes -- Shark Versus Jet-Ski -- Hot Oil Treatment -- Tucked In By Jason -- Just A Pair of Snowbodies -- Poison Pellet Kibble Swap -- Dolly Disassembled -- Fire Escape Fall Out -- Unbuggered -- Tell 'Em Large Marge Sent'cha -- Blue Man Gooped -- Tongue Stung -- Now Wouldn't Cha, Barracuda? -- Leaving on a Rat Plane -- Panthers! -- Fashion Faux-Pwned -- "It's Just A Box." -- Blasted Pigeons -- Taunting Ahnuld -- The Too Hot Tub -- Beyond the Veil -- Sunken Prayers-- Super Crack -- Brains Blown -- Fur For The Boogens -- White Hot Bunny Rabbit Rage --Dragged To Hell -- The TV Van That Dripped Blood -- Don't Mess With Mama -- Heads Ahoy --Martyred For Sheep -- Heads Nor Tails -- He Loves Me Knot -- The Great Bouncing Brad --Miss Kitty's 8 Mishaps -- Boat Smoosh -- Meeting the French-Tipped Menace -- A Magic Trick -- Slick Suck -- We Who Walk Here Walk Alone -- Raptor Bait -- Kneegasm'd -- Dare to Dream in Fincher -- Reach Out and Throttle Someone -- De-Faced -- Voluntary Drowning -- Cross Borne -- Pulled Up Hell's Sphincter -- An Arrow Up The Ass - The Numerous Violent Unbecomings of Olive Oyl -- Ack! Ack! Zap! -- Baby's First Acid Splash -- Chop, Drop and Sashimi Roll -- Forever Rafter -- Can't You Hear Me Now? -- Daisies Ways #5 - Harpoony Side Up -- Acid Dip -- On a Wing and a Prey -- For Standing in the Way of Sappho -- Busting Rule Number Three (For The Purpose of Number Two) -- Daisies #4 - Window Dressed To Killed --Hands Off the Haas Orb -- Bullet Ballet -- A Single Vacancy at the Roach Motel -- A School Bus Slipped Thru The Ice -- Trache-AAHHHH!!!-tomy'd - For Mel Gibson's Sins -- A Wide Stanced Slashing --- Daisies Ways #3 - Scratch n' Snuffed -- The Victim of a Viscous Hit & Run-- Curled -- Kabobbed -- Daisies Ways #2 - Aggravated Cementia -- Boo! Nun! -- 2009's Ways Not To Die -- Bug Scratch Fever -- Daisies Ways #1 - Deep Fat Fried in My Own Unique Blend of 500 Herbs & Spices -- By the Yard End of the Stick -- Screwed From A Very Great Distance-- A Righteous Bear-Jew Beatdown -- Fisted By Hugo Sitglitz -- Xeno Morphed -- Fuck-Stuck -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 4 -- Lava Bombed -- The Cradle Will Rock... Your Face Off!!! -- The Food of the Nilbog Goblins -- The Slugs Is Gonna Gitcha -- Phone Shark -- Hide The Carrot -- Sarlacc Snacked -- Avada Kedavra!!! -- Hooked, Lined and Sinkered -- "The Libyans!" -- Axe Me No Questions -- Pin the Chainsaw on the Prostitute -- The Wrath of the Crystal Unicorn -- The Ultimate Extreme Make-Over -- Drown In A Sink Before The Opening Credits Even Roll -- The Dog Who Knew Too Much -- Don't Die Over Spilled Milk -- Inviting the Wrath of Aguirre -- An Inconceivable Outwitting -- The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique -- Nipple Injected Blue Junk -- Your Pick Of The Deadly Six -- Thing Hungry --Don't Fuck With The Serial Killer's Daughter -- DO Forget To Add The Fabric Softener -- Any Of The Ways Depicted In This Masterpiece Of Lost Cinema -- Rode Down In The Friscalating Dusklight -- Good Morning, Sunshine! -- Mornin' Cuppa Drano -- The Cylon-Engineered Apocalypse -- Tender-Eye-zed -- Martian Atmospheric Asphyxiation -- Maimed By A Mystical Person-Cat -- The Sheets Are Not To Be Trusted -- Handicapable Face-Hacked -- I Did It For You, Faramir -- Summertime In The Park... Of A Pedophile's Mind -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 3 -- Strung Up With Festive Holiday Bulbs By Santa Claus Himself -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 2 -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 1 -- Decapitated Plucked Broiled & Sliced -- Head On A Stick! -- A Trip To The Ol' Wood-Chipper -- Pointed By The T-1000 --Sucking Face With Freddy Krueger -- A Pen-Full Of Home-Brewed Speed to The Eye --Motivational Speech, Interrupted -- A Freak Ephemera Storm -- When Ya Gotta Go... Ya Gotta Go -- Hoisted By Your Own Hand Grenade -- Having The Years Suction-Cupped Away --Criss-Cross -- Turned Into A Person-Cocoon By The Touch Of A Little Girl's Mirror Doppleganger -- Satisfying Society's "Pop Princess" Blood-Lust -- Done In By The Doggie Door-- Tuned Out -- Taking the 107th Step -- Rescuing Gretchen -- Incinerated By Lousy Dialogue-- Starred & Striped Forever -- Vivisection Via Vaginally-Minded Barbed-Wire -- Chompers (Down There) -- Run Down By M. Night Shyamalan -- Everything Up To And Including The Kitchen Toaster -- Sacrificed To Kali -- Via The Gargantuan Venom Of The Black Mamba Snake -- Turned Into An Evil Robot -- The Out-Of-Nowhere Careening Vehicle Splat -- "Oh My God... It's Dip!!!" -- Critter Balled -- Stuff'd -- A Hot-Air Balloon Ride... Straight To Hell!!!-- Puppy Betrayal -- High-Heeled By A Girlfriend Impersonator -- Flip-Top Beheaded --Because I'm Too Goddamned Beautiful To Live -- By Choosing... Poorly... -- Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare --Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head
Caged Dick
.
The last we'd heard of Donnie Darko director Richard Kelly, he was readying a film called Corpus Christi which was going to star Edgar Ramirez as a vet with PTSD - that was in March, with a shooting start of July. This sadly is not a thing that happened. No instead now comes word that this director that I love who nevertheless has a problem with reining in his more out-there impulses is teaming up with the least reined-in actor alive.
Via The Playlist comes word Kelly is going to make a movie with Nicholas Cage. It's called Amicus, and it's kind of a convoluted story (perfect) about a man who uses a true crime book as a guide on how to hire a killer to kill his family, and then there's a legal fight with the publisher of said true crime book about how much of the fault for what happened is theirs. This is all based on a true story, natch. Cage would play the lawyer who represented the affected families of the victims.
.
Good Morning, World
.
Somebody who watches Sons of Anarchy needs to assure me that that's Charlie Hunnam's bottom we're seeing there. The place where I got these pictures from was not specific. I assume (heh) it is him because A) I'm pretty sure his character on the show is supposed to have that back tattoo (unless all the guys in his gang have it), and 2) I know from Charlie's Hunnam's bottom. He's gotten pretty jacked though, if that is indeed him.
.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
