Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Keep The Kibbles + Bits Covered, Says Person

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Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen is terribly depressed that hot guys like Daniel Craig are now allowed to woo women slightly closer to their own age, instead of creepy old dudes with flab hanging over their belts yanked up to their armpits like it was in the good old days, and he's not afraid who knows it! 

Alright I don't even know where to start with this article. I mean just right off the top of my head, he praises Sean Connery, former bodybuilder, who spends 90% of Thunderball in short-shorts with the camera zooming in onto his crotch in close-up (I just watched Thunderball this past weekend, and those numbers are real), as a prime example of how actors used to be all about charm and wit and age, not muscles that have muscles on top of their muscles like these young whippersnappers today. 

And what about his blind assumption, so obvious it doesn't even need to be stated, that females are only there to be young and pretty and wooed? Wasn't it great when Gary Cooper got to boink his granddaughter Grace Kelly that one time? Yeehaw!

No. Just no, Richard Cohen. That one time Humphrey Bogart took his shirt off the nation wept. Nobody wants to go back to those days, and you're not gonna drag us back!
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2 comments:

mangrove said...

So we both agree that the B- you just gave Thunderball literally makes no sense?

In light of this post anyway...

bcarter3 said...

I found the Cohen article sad and pathetic--the mourning of someone in past his prime and in sad decline. I sort of empathized until I got to this statement:

"Every rippling muscle is a book not read, a movie not seen or a conversation not held."

Actually, every rippling muscle is a cheeseburger not eaten, a beer not gulped or a Cheeto nit swallowed.