Monday, October 22, 2012

We Want To See Them Work It

In honor of the release of Steven Soderbergh's male stripper bildungsroman Magic Mike which is out on Blu/DVD tomorrow, we held a lil' contest last week, wherein we randomly chose a winner from the likes of you-all who answered a question I put forth, namely for you-all to name five names that you would cast in the sequel. And I got way more emails for this contest than I have for any other, proving once and for all that I have an audience that likes to look at men in states of undress. (Shocker.) Anyway thanks to everybody for the replies, but we have a winner - congratulations Ty! - whose choices were an eclectically delicious bunch.

"This was a challenging hypothetical. If you'd have asked tomorrow it would probably be different. Thinking about it now I've come up with Takeshi Kaneshiro, Charlie Hunnam, Dominic Cooper, Skylar Astin, and Paul Schneider. Siiiigh, if only."

If only, indeed. Indeed there was so much "if only" going on as I read through your emails I knew I had to do something with them. So how's about a poll? I counted up all of your picks. Joseph Gordon-Levitt's junk-thrusting performance on SNL was obviously fresh in everybody's minds, because he walked away with the top spot handily. Next up came the Chris contingent of The Avengers to round out the top three.

From there on it was a bloodbath. (Sexiest bloodbath ever.) But I leave it to you. Below is y'all's top fifteen vote-getters, from top to bottom (and everything in between). Pick five, and then we'll have a perfectly democratic cast of thong-bearers. I will of course then send the final tally straight to Channing Tatum, who will make it happen exactly as we decree.* (If he's not pissed off that his co-star Matthew Bomer kicked his oh so shapely butt, that is.)
* I can make no such promise.


Anonymous said...

Hugh Jackman would be great. I've seen him dance, he can clearly dance. And we need more shots of his behind. The only thing I couldn't handle is if they shaved his body down.

Will h said...

Ty needs to take a bow for those choices.

Jason Adams said...

anon - Hugh Jackman's body hair is titanium strong and breaks every razor that comes near it, thank goodness.

Will - I agree, they're all great, especially the totally inspired Paul Schneider pick. Can you imagine? I can; I have been imagining it all day long.

Will h said...

The Paul Schneider pick is the clincher. The top row are MNPP perennials, and Skylar Astin is an obvious choice in a post-Pitch Perfect world, but the Paul Schneider pick is the one that needs to happen and I never would have thought of.

Anonymous said...

Joseph Gordon Levitt
Ryan Gosling
Matt Bomer
Michael Fassbender
Idris Elba

Oh my...

hermius said...

Joseph Gordon-Levitt:
His SNL skit was enough for me.

Chris Evans:

Chris Hemsworth:
Don't think he'd be comfortable in a thong.

Jake Gyllenhaal:
1.He'd enjoy it. 2. He'd look good doing it. 3. He'd actually be willing to do it were it not for the fact that he's already done one very prominent gay role and as we all know mainstream actors are only allowed to act "a little queer" in one film in their careers.

Zac Efron:
I'd pay to see him in a thong and I do feel that at this stage in his career he would actually be willing to do anything to work with proper directors.

Tom Hardy:
He'd probably wretch at the idea of gay men going to watch a film where he's being "sexploited".

Ryan Gosling:
He's only hot in a well-tailored suit. I think all his cool sophisticated charm and slickness would wash away the moment he stepped onstage in a thong.

Matt Bomer:
Been there...

Dominic Cooper:
Adorable and one of my all time hottest actor crushes but I could never imagine a real life male stripper looking like Dominic.

Hugh Jackman:
He looks too old and he's so tall and huge that I'm sure he'd be to unwieldy on stage (and please don't point out his Broadway career to me, that was along time ago).

Ryan Kwanten:
He'd do it but I've see everything he has to offer.

Michael Fassbender:

Idris Elba:
Yes, Magic Mike need some brothas but Idris is to classy, may I suggest Shemar Moore instead?

Charlie Hunnam:

Ewan McGregor:
Hot and has zero body issues but no.

Deivith Coast said...

I think these five would make a great team (I mean really hot guys, good to great actors and I think they would be great together):

Joseph Gordon Levitt
Chris Evans
Tom Hardy
Michael Fassbender
Ewan McGregor

Hugh Man said...

I'm sorry-- too skinny-- I win! yeah! No Jon Hamm? But he's the real Big dick!p.s. I want Magic Mike to sweep the oscars!