The Master Of My Own Domain

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Every time that the trailer for Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master comes on the television I get to see a few briefs seconds of footage before I inevitably stuff my fingers in my ears and close my eyes and scream "LA LA LA" to keep myself from seeing slash hearing too much and in those few seconds I've found myself thinking, over and over, of what wonders hard living has done for Joaquin Phoenix. I've expressed this before but in the past I really just have never been a fan of looking at his face. It was like a blind person drew a cute person while riding in a car on a gravel road. But here and now in a post bearded frog-licking meltdown world Joaquin's stepped right off the edge into straight-up uglysville, and I find his face fascinating now. It no longer lives smack-dab in uncanny valley - no, that is a face I can stay riveted to for two hours now.

Not that I was ever going to avoid The Master - I'm firmly entrenched in the cult of PTA, we all know this, there's no point pretending otherwise. This has been my number one anticipated movie all year (hell since the dust settled from TWBB, honestly) and I'll have a hard time being objective. I'm seeing the film in three hours and I've got a ridiculous blanket of goosebumps already. (SEVENTY MILLIMETERS, BITCHES!) I am aware that reviews have been decidedly mixed out there in the world, even though after a couple of sentences I react to reviews the same way I've been reacting to trailers (fingers in ears, LA LA LA, et cetera). It don't matter. Just gimme gimme gimme!

But there are a few other movies out today besides this preordained masterpiece, and you can hear my brief thoughts upon them over at Celebrity Beehive. How can you say no to that face?