Starf*cking the Premiere

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So as you can't tell from that blurry ass picture (the lighting in the theater at MoMA is awful)  I did end up seeing Cosmopolis last evening... and it turned out to be the US premiere, which I didn't quite realize. And it was a real starfucking extravaganza! Robert Pattinson was there of course, publicly mourning the Twilight franchise or whatever. 

I kept hoping the screaming crowds were excited to see David Cronenberg, but I have my doubts. If the camera-man taking the shot to the right were to swivel to the left and walk about a hundred feet he'd have caught me, looking sad for the world. By the way, Robert Pattinson has an enormous head. Obscenely large. His neck must be exhausted all of the time.

Anyway who all did I see there... it was a real who's-who of "Who?" A lot of the movie's cast - Sarah Gadon, Paul Giamatti, the giant hulking Kevin Durand. The people I'd have most wanted to see - Juliette Binoche, Mathieu Almaric, and Samantha Morton - were no-shows.

But most exciting was seeing Regis Philbin and his wife Joy (the phrase "skeleton with a red wig plopped on top may or may not have come to mind) - that one felt like a real big check on the checklist on living in NYC. Like the time I saw Woody and Soon-Yi walking down the street, almost. No Kathie Lee unfortunately, but she's probably passed out on a pile of wine boxes by 8pm.

Stanley Tucci almost slammed into me when I was going to the bathroom - he was looking at his phone, not where he was going. Not that I'd have minded Stanley Tucci slamming into me, of course. A few minutes later when I came back I saw Tucci was sitting a across the aisle from where I was, and he was sitting right behind Todd Solondz. He was gesticulating wildly at the back of Solondz's head, explaining to his wife who he was. A few minutes later they were chatting - future team-up?

I saw Brady Corbett from Mysterious Skin and Martha Marcy May Marlene, who I am sure is stalking me, I see him all over the place. Apparently Emily Haines was there (the lead singer of Metric!) but I didn't see her, I only know from red carpet pictures. She is the opposite of stalking me - she is purposefully avoiding me, damn her. Oh and I mistook Miss USA for a prostitute. (Ha - "mistook.")

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