Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Showgirls (1995)

Al: Must be weird,
not having anybody come on ya.

It is weird, Al! So weird. I hope one day to have enshrined every single line from Showgirls into this series, because it is the wisest movie ever created and we all should live our lives to a tee by each of its hearty dicta. Here's a previous lesson, and here's one more. Learn them, live them, touch their dirty places and yank away your hand when they burn.

And a happy 74th birthday to director and genius Paul Verhoeven, the maker of more of my favorite movies than I could count on a dozen uncummed-upon fingers.

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