5 Off My Head - Danny Boy I Love You So

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That there's the new full-length trailer for Sam Mendes' James Bond movie called Skyfall starring everybody's favorite snug suit-filler Daniel Craig. It's good! I want to see this movie. Visually everything looks pretty grand, which isn't surprising, this being a Sam Mendes movie and all. The action seems big and Judy Dench looks appropriately stern and yadda yadda here are the five shots from the trailer that most matter.

Okay obvious things first, the promised swim-trunk scene. We'd seen a still already so we knew it's coming. I doubt it could ever match the epic impact of that moment when Danny walked up out of the water in Casino Royale...

... and split the world in two (could the current hot trend of cinematic male exploitation be traced back to it? Did Bond make it okay for Michael Fassbender to whip it out? Discuss.) but I will not find fault with them dipping into that well again.

Next stop, shower scene! I just hope somebody takes the time to wipe that fog off mid-coitus, otherwise yawn. It's a pretty picture, but not as pretty as what's hidden back there. Also I know that's probably the lovely and talented Naomi Harris in there with him, but I'd rather think...

... that's Q (Ben Whishaw) testing out some kind of new spy gadget with him. Perhaps a urethra-cam, or some such. Anyway golly they make a cute couple.

This one's not as obvious, but what do you notice different between those two shots? That's right, his shirt's been unbuttoned some on the right. This is Bond being interrogated by the big baddie played by a Carol Channing'd out Javier Bardem, and if there's anything we know about Bond being interrogated we know these days it tends to go entirely homosexual. So keep the hope alive! And finally...

Seeing Daniel Craig do action sequences in suits so tight we know his religion is what we go to these things for in the end, right? In the end, get it? Ha ha, sigh. Damn.

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