Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Tommy Boy (1995)

Tommy: Uh, what my associate is trying say is... Our new brake pads are really cool. You're not even gonna believe it. Like, let's say you're driving along the road with your family. [Picks up model car] You're drivin' along, la-de-da, woo. All of a sudden there's a truck tire in the middle of the road. And you hit the brakes. EEEEEEEEE! Whoa, that was close. Ha-ha.
Now let's see what happens when you're driving with the "other guy's" brake pads. You're drivin' along, you're drivin' along, the kids start shouting from the back seat, "I gotta go to the bathroom, Daddy!" "Not now, damn it!" Truck tire. EEEEEEEE! I CAN'T STOP! [Slams model car into lighter] There's a cliff! AAAAAHH! And your family's screaming, [sets car on fire] "Oh my God, we're burning alive!" "No! I can't feel my legs!" Here comes the meat wagon. [Imitates siren] And the medic gets out and says, "Oh my God". New guy's around the corner puking his guts out. [Imitates retching]
All because you want to save a couple extra pennies.

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