Quotes of the Day

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Today's quotes of the day are both Fassy-flavored. One is actually from yesterday, but things flavored with Fassy never go stale. That's like the first rule of fight lub or whatever. Yesterday's tidbit comes from a press conference in Toronto where he and his Shame director were talking about what else Michael's ginormous distracting cock.

"You can take somebody's head off with a cheese cutter, but Heaven forbid you should show a penis. It seems so ludicrous to me and ridiculous," says Fassbender. "I suppose it's nice as well for women for a change to see guys sort of exposed. It's usually the woman walking around naked and the guy conveniently has his pants on."

But can you take somebody's head off with a cheese grater while your penis is exposed? That's the real test of the future, I think.

And then here's Keira Knightley talking about getting spanked by Fassy in Cronenberg's A Dangerous Method:

“There was a box which he hit, so he was nowhere near me, thank God! I did actually say to Michael before one of the scenes — I was like, ‘I’ve got a security guard outside. You touch me and he’s gonna break your legs!’ And he was like, ‘Keira, you’re tied to a bed. You’re not really in a position to say that.’ I said, ‘I guess you’re right.’… [I did] a couple of shots of vodka — definitely — beforehand, and then a couple of glasses of champagne as a celebration of never having to do that again!”

Lady, you're not winning yourself any fans by acting as if a smack on the ass from Michael Fassbender is a chore. And can't you just hear Fassy's deep rich velvety voice saying those words? "You're tied to a bed. You're not really in a position to say that" as he prepares to mount you oh my god I have to for a walk, excuse me.

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